My husband and I never planned on having any children however I got pregnant and our son is now a toddler...?

My husband and I never planned on having any children however I got pregnant a couple of years ago and we had a son (now a toddler). I led a very wild life before I met my husband & then I fell in love with him & it slowed down quite a bit which I was okay with. Then I got pregnant (suprise!) & its like I had some sort of break down. I was completely happy with my life up until that point and after I had my son I completely changed. My marriage is not the same. My husband wants to go out with his friends & it makes me depressed because I am at home all of the time (stay at home mom). My body has changed (gained like 5-10 pounds but I have a stretched out tummy &stretch marks on my tummy) and I don't feel comfortable with it. I don't have friends because I don't go out anywhere where I would be able to make friends. I'm very happy that I had my son &I love him but I feel like somethings missing maybe? I don't really feel adjusted to my life even though my son is a toddler. Suggestions?

Update:

Does anyone feel this way? I haven't adjusted even though my son is 17 months old and I feel like I should have by now. My husband has adjusted to being a dad but its not as big of a change for him as it is for me becuase he is still working and doesnt take care of our son like I do. I need some advice please....

Update 2:

I don't regret having my son I absolutely adore him and he's one of the best things that has ever happened to me I just want to know why I feel this way still and if I am ever going to get over it?

Update 3:

I just turned 24

7 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    first of all how old are you? It is sometimes a question of an age. I think it is one of the normal transitional processes in your life, first you live you life...literally, thinking of yourself only, then it changes into thinking of your child...normal stage, especially for a woman, do not fear the future, start working out, take care of your body, you probably are young and you can be still sexy, go out and take your baby with you, meet other moms, although it might not be a conversation about latest fashion or Wall Street review, it might give you some ideas what to do, call your friends with kids, have a little get-together, plan a trip, picnic, any outdoor activity, be active, be yourself, it is still you, just with more responsibilities...there is always a solution, a possibility....look at this: POSSIBILITYNOWHERE.....what do you see? Possibility nowhere? or rather POSSIBILITY NOW HERE....see? always two points of view at least....Keep up a good job...don't worry about your hubby going out...as long as he is "behaving" let him have his freedom, but make sure you include him in your planned activities....GOOD LUCK

    Source(s): Honey don't worry, you will get over that, your son will give you the strenght, and time will show too...you are young, so very young, life is beautiful, just open your eyes...think about possibilities...:)
  • lily
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    It sounds like you have made the sacrifices in your changed lifestyle , while your husband is having all the carefree fun. I think you two need to spend more time together (get a babysitter) and he needs to stop stepping out with his friends unless he agrees you have an equal amount of time with your friends (he gets to babysit). It is also time for him to take on some baby duties (like giving the tyke a bath and putting on his pj's every night) Dad really needs to take some time to bond with the boy. If you two truly did/do not want to have any children hubby needs to get a vasectomy so no more little surprises pop up. Also may I suggest you stop repeating the "we never planned on having children". How do you think your son would feel if he found out he was not "wanted" but was just a "surprise".

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First off...hire a dependable sitter and go out as a couple once in awhile! You didn't get married to sit home alone while he goes out with friends...both of you should go out occasionally (together some times, and with your own friends other times). Life doesn't end when you have a child...however the child should be the priority for both you and your husband. If you and he never planned on having children the steps could have been taken to prevent it. Now that the little guy is here...share the parenting responsibilites and become a couple again

  • 1 decade ago

    it's about time to let your child be taken care by someone so u can meet your old frenz to catch up abit. i don't have the same experience as u but my best fren did. maybe you should do something to slim down too coz being fat really makes ladies very depress and insecure. my fren's hubby is that tyipical egoistic guy so she had quarrels in order to gain her freedom. loving your child doesn't mean u should be there for him 24/7 there's a tendency that your child might rely on ppl in future.strench marks are unsightly but u can always cover up!if you prefer wearing sexy stuff then you can always go for low v-neck or off shoulder clothings. so start lifting some dumbells !!!soon!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Tell your husband you wanna go out sometimes too and he has to watch your son. You deserve some time off. Go places where you can make some friends. Don't worry about how your body looks, you had a child, you're not supposed to be skin and bones.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It sounds like you didn't want kids at all. I have 3 boys, and my stretch marks don't bother me, neither do my 4 extra pounds. I love my kids, and they were what my husband and I wanted. If you didn't want kids that badly, you should have been protecting yourself. Now your poor son has to suffer over YOUR mistake!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I wish I could help you but I don't wanna have kids...

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