Getting married soon,anyone have any advice?
I am getting married next month anyone have any advice to make this marriage the best it can be?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Don't let the wedding planning and wedding day turn her into a Bridezilla! If you celebrate the union more than the planning, it's the first strong, good memory you share.
Accept each other's strengths and be there in each other's time of weakness. Don't try to change someone's quirks unless they want to change. If they want to change, be supportive without being demanding or condescending.
Have a good circle of friends. Remember to take time out for yourself, and give her the space she needs to be her own individual self apart from you.
If she says that something is important to her more than once, remember it and do it. Don't placate her with "I know, I know!" She's trying to tell you what she needs to feel loved.
Read "The Love Languages" - people give and receive love in different ways, find out each other's.
Enjoy each other's company!
- dappersmomLv 61 decade ago
YES, consider, plan and negotiate what LIFE will be after the wedding!! People screw this up all the time! Here is some stuff that might get your discussions started, think about it, life is long and needs to be negotiated.
Discuss ALL the issues involved in life after the wedding like finances, division of household labor, children, in laws, where to live, jobs, time away with friends, sex how much and how often, and a million other things you haven't thought of. After all of that you consider each part of the vows, and what you consider is the difficult side of them, anybody can be happy when things are going well so,
richer or poorer....still want to be with them in a shack with crackers ala peanut butter for dinner...for the fourth night in a row?
sickness and health...they develop a chronic physical or mental illness and can't get around and can't work, still want to be there?
better or worse...they are in a car accident and you have to spend the rest of your life feeding them and changing their diapers, still want to be married?
keep yourself only to him or her, can you REALLY only have sex with only that person until you die?
THIS is what marriage is, not a fairy tale where everything goes well everyday, the one guarantee you have is that things WILL go wrong. Remember, you answer all these questions after you have passed infatuation, after you know what their bad points are (yes they have some and so do you) and still consider it anyway.
If you think you are up for all of this then maybe you should think about it. Don't forget to consider whether they would stick by you if it was you in any or all of the above scenarios. Check out the question posted here by married people and keep in mind that all of them thought this was the thing to do and the ONE for them when they got married too! There is a book called Lies At The Altar by Dr. Robin Smith, it helps you answer all this and gives you a lot more questions to ask and lets you both go in to a marriage with your eyes wide open, if you aren't willing to consider all that then what you really want is a pretty ring and a nice party and lots of attention, have them but don't make that a basis for a LIFE. Good luck!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Pretend you are not married.
Marriage does have it's financial and emotional perks, which is why it should not be avoided if you are ready to be with 1 person forever.
After being together for so long, some marriages feel more platonic than romantic. This is because of COMPLACENCY.
Married people tend to stop exercising, going out together, going out separately, trying to look his/her best, wearing sexy pajamas to bed etc.
Don't fall into that stale mindset, and your marriage will stay Fresh and Light Hearted for many years.
Keep treating each other the way you did when you first met. Always remember what attracted you to her, and never take it for granted. Holding on to the boyfriend & girlfriend attitude, and incorperate it with your marriage is fail-proof!
- justmemimiLv 61 decade ago
Yes...never ever cheat on your wife. That's a cardinal mistake. Nothing will be the same after you are busted. Trust must be earned. Cheating will not help build trust. The opposite...a woman will never forget. She might get over it...but she will never fully trust you evaaaaa again.
One more thing: if you buy her flowers in the beginning...better make it a tradition (like twice or once a month)...otherwise, if you stop buying flowers altogether- she will think you don't love her as much....and might become suspicious that maybe you are buying flowers because of bad conscience.
In other words....Do not do something that you can't maintain doing. (don't buy her flowers every Friday and then all of a sudden you buy only once a year...This is just an example with the flowers....Your ava looks sharp...I hope your mind is as sharp and you understand what I'm trying to convey.
Last but not least...ooooooh...this is soooo important: always keep her happy, because when Mama is sad and mad...you are in a dog house...the way to do this is: always make her feel like she is always right.
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- jeff the drunkLv 61 decade ago
If you are under 25, seriously, DONT!!!
If you havent finished your education, college, etc... DONT!!!
If you are not somewhat established in your career, DONT!!!
If you are having any doubts about marriage at all, DONT!!!
If you havent had a 3 way yet, DONT!!!
If you are not ready to have s e x with the same person, DONT!!!
"Why buy the cow, when the milk's for free" Advice given to me by my ex's dad right before we got married when I was 22. Advice I did not heed.
Who's idea was it for you to get married, and seriously think about it, what do you get out of it? Why are you getting married anyways? Dont say Love, or money, or anything of the sort, blah blah blah.... Seriously, what is it that you get out it?
I am remarried now, but I'm also now 32. My wife totally compliments me, and I compliment her. We have 2 children from our previous marriage, and will not have anymore. We love being together, love being alone, and completely value our time when our kids are with their respective parents. Also our children are 100% more important than us, which you will learn as you mature, but until then, you may find that marriage is NOT as easy as it may sound on paper. We tell our kids to wait until they have completed their education, and have begun in their career before having a serious relationship. Until then, you dont have boyfriends or girlfriends.
I wish you the best of luck, but I hope you make the right decision. Its never too late to back out of it beforehand. Once you are married, its harder to get out.
- 1 decade ago
Well it seems like you already know the most important thing- having Jesus as the center of your relationship. Always look to Him when you need strength, guidance, wisdom, and an added dose of love for your wife. You cannot love your wife enough, but Christ can love her through you if you let Him. Remember this: two becoming one is hard and sometimes extremely painful. Don't give up hope when things look bad because they will get better and through prayer and obedience to the Lord you will come to understand that the rough patches are the part of the journey that makes you the strongest as a couple. God bless you and your wife-to-be.Source(s): Married 5 years to an awesome man of God.
- 1 decade ago
Always remember to love each other no matter what, dont ever stop talking, and always tell each other everything even if it hurts. My dad told me something before I got married that has stuck with me. The reasons why all marraige fail is because they do not have a relationship with there spouse. Always keep your husband or wife number 1 after God, and you will have a happy relationship forever
- maigen_obxLv 71 decade ago
This is the best advice for a marriage I've ever read, it's from a Mercedes Lackey book:
This bond, this joining, is not meant to be a fetter. A joining is a partnership, not two people becoming one. Two minds cannot fuse, two souls cannot merge, two hearts cannot keep to the same time. If two are foolish enough to try this, one must overwhelm the other, and that is not love, nor is it compassion, nor responsibility. You are two who choose to walk the same path, to bridge the differences between you with love. You must remember and respect those differences and learn to understand them, for they are part of what made you come to love in the first place. Love is patient, love is willing to compromise—love is willing to admit it is wrong. There will be hard times; you must face them as bound warriors do, side by side, not using the weapon of your knowledge to tear at each other. There will be sadness as well as joy, and must support one another through the grief and sorrow. There will be pain—but pain shared is pain halved, as joy shared is joy doubled, and you each must sacrifice your own comfort to share the pain of the other. And yet, you must do all this and manage to keep each other from wrong actions, for a joining means that you also pledge to help one another at all times. You must lead each other by example. Guide and be willing to be guided. Being joined does not mean that you accept what is truly wrong, being joined means that you must strive that you both remain in the light and the right. You must not pledge yourselves thinking that there will be no strife between you. That is fantasy, for you are two and not one, and there will inevitably come conflict that it will be up to you to resolve. You must not pledge yourselves thinking that all will be well from this moment on. That is a dream, and dreamers must eventually wake. You must come to this joining fully ready, fully committed, and fully respectful of each other.
- RachelLv 71 decade ago
Next month is our 1st year anniversary! We've been together for a total of 3, will be married for 1.
Laugh a lot together, do fun things, support each other, love constantly, surprise your partner, tell them they're cute and adorable daily, touch them often, and just be true.
Congrats on your upcoming big day and best wishes!!
- 1 decade ago
nothing is more important than your marriage, not bills, work or even the kids. You must keep your marriage strong for the sake of the kids. Never take some one elses side over your wife even you disagree and never stop dating her. Those are just a few things. The rest you will learn.