誰可以幫我修改一下這篇英文文章看有沒有不對的地方阿???

I had a holiday in 白沙灣 with my friends. It was my first

time come there so I\'m going to make the most of it.

One path wound down to the beach . when I turned my

head and saw the wonderful place. Wow! How excellent is it!

The beach had been washed clean by the tide. It was beautiful,

but there was too many people. The beach was thick with

sunbathers. I watched the waves rolling onto the beach. But I can\'t

listen to the wash of waves on it. It was a pleace full of laughter

and voice.

Some person took their buckets and spades to there. But we piled

the sand just by hands... And we threw mud to each other~

拜託各位了............>M<

2 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I had a holiday in Baishawan with my friends. It was my first

    time to go there .

    When I was taking a walk and looking around on the path along the beach , I found the beach was really beautiful. I couldn't believe what I saw.

    The beach was tidy and it seemed to be cleaned by the tide.

    There were so many sunbathers chatting and laughing there so I couldn't hear the

    sound of the tide.

    Some people took their buckets and spades there to make sandcastles. But we only did

    that with our hands... And we threw mud to each other~

    We really had a good time.

    英文很忌諱直接從中文翻哦.

  • 1 decade ago

    I had a holiday in 白沙灣 with my friends. (無建議)

    It was my first time come there so I'm going to make the most of it. ( 請參考 "come here" 和 "go there" 兩個片語, 以及時態. 此句最好修改為: It was my first time to go there, so I had been going to make the most of it.)

    One path wound down to the beach . ("有一條小路" 請用 there is..., 就變成: There was one path winding downward(往下方向) to the beach.)

    when I turned my head and saw the wonderful place. ( When I turned my head back, I saw the wonderful scene(景像).

    Wow! How excellent is it! ( 非問句所以應該不用倒裝: How excellent it is! 或許, 換一下形容詞可使文句層次會更深入: How spectacular (或 splendid 等等) it is! )

    The beach had been washed clean by the tide. ( by + 方法, 在此應為不特定的潮水, 我覺得這樣比較好: The beach had been washed clean by tides. )

    It was beautiful, but there was too many people. The beach was thick with

    sunbathers. ( 沒有用過 "thick" with sunbathers"的經驗, 不過應該也可以寫成: It was beautiful but there was too many people. The beach was crowded(或filled) with sunbathers.)

    I watched the waves rolling onto the beach. But I can't listen to the wash of waves on it. ( 無建議 )

    It was a pleace full of laughter and voice. (It was a place full of laughters and noises.)

    Some person took their buckets and spades to there. ( 一般人的稱謂,且不是formal情況, 請用people(單複數同型). 攜帶物品可用 bring(帶來) 或 take(帶去), 但主角也在 "there" 邏輯上我會選用 bring "帶來": Some people brought their buckets and spades to there.

    But we piled the sand just by hands... (表達文章的 qualification 時, 一般用 however(然而) 或 nevertheless等詞彙: However, we piled the sand by hands.)

    And we threw mud to each other~ (關於"互相之間", 如果指兩個人之間用 "each other", 若是三個或人三個以上之間則用 "one another". 跟據第一句, 與一起去的"朋友們"一併計算, 一共至少三人. 所以應該是: And we threw mud to one another. )

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