A potential lover informs me of having herpes.?
This kind of honesty is just part of the many wonderful positive traits of this individual. We are mutually attracted to each other but there is this stumbling block called herpes. I am aware of the complications and one moment say I am willing to accept whatever and the next moment I am confused and fearful of being left with an incurable disease. How does one weigh the consequences? I would not be asking this if she did not mean so much to me in all other ways. How have others handled this kind of relationship?
- ladyrenLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Get serious, herpes is no big deal. Google it or enter it in the Yahoo search below. If it is any comfort to you, more than 90% of all people have oral herpes before they are 3 years old from adults kissing them and spittering on them. Genital herpes is not much worse than a cold sore on your bum. Creams take the sting out of the sores and it is really not transmittable when you are not having an outbreak despite what you read..... Drug companies are interested in selling you drugs, and they don't if you don't buy them, but that's another story. The only time herpes is a problem is if a lady is having an outbreak when she is about to deliver----- then certain steps have to be taken so that her child does not become infected at birth. Herpes is also a problem in those with a suppressed immune system -- transplant patients and the like. Having herpes would centainly never stop me from having a relationship..... if you don't already have the virus, you simply refrain from sex until the little sore heals up in a week or two --- big deal. Women carry the virus more commonly than men. And many people have it and don't even know they have it. A woman could likely have infected herself with oral herpes to the genital area by moistening a tampon when she had a cold sore before insertion.... You aren't going to die of it, if you get it, it won't rot your brain, and if you have more outbreaks that you want to deal with, there are meds approved for use for years on end. Interestingly, in the 80's the popular press made a really big deal out of it, but then the AIDS thing came along, and guess what???????? ---- suddenly herpes was a non-issue. The only really nasty herpes virus is the one that causes chicken pox, and re - emerges in the grandparents when they are again exposed to chicken pox with their grandchildren. It's called shingles, and it IS indeed a painful critter, and can be long lasting as well. Further if it breaks out along the nerves running to the eye, it can cause blindness. Helpful??????????Source(s): Dad and husband both MD. and don't forget, search the yahoo search and read -- it's more than I could have written here, i'm sure.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Here is the thing....1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 men have it. It CAN be passed without an outbreak, it is not just doctors trying to get money for meds. The truth is that more people rarely have to take meds every day than the ones that do. Unless you have outbreaks often there is no need to take them unless you have one and then it's only 3 days. Ok, swan silver....I don't know wher you're from, but where I am from we have this great invention called applicators for tampons, and it's quite sick if you use your mouth to "wet" it. If you would like to know anything about herpes go to www.herpes.com. It will have any information you need.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
There are three things you can do to decrease transmission to close to 0% risk. Your partner can take anti-viral therapy daily (valtrex), consistently use condoms and avoid sexual contact when they have an outbreak. It would also be a good idea for you to be tested. 25% of the population has genital herpes (and most are unaware of it) so there is a good chance you might already have it. I say that if you care about the person, this shouldn't stop you from being intimate with them. I mean who knows you may want to spend the rest of your life with them and then it wouldn't matter. While there's no cure there is medicine that I mentioned above to decrease the outbreaks.
- 1 decade ago
Herpes is contagious. You can minimize your risk by wearing condoms. She can also take one of the herpes drugs on an every day basis to prevent outbreaks (Valtrex, Famvir, acyclovir). It is an antiviral. She should be able to tell when an outbreak is coming on, at least 2 days in advance -- therefore avoid intercourse starting then, start taking 1000 mg of Valtrex until the symptoms disappear (usually will prevent an outbreak if she is not taking the medicine daily). If she does have an outbreak, it can take up to 2 weeks for it to totally clear, and I would avoid intercourse during those times.Source(s): Nurse Donna
- MillwoodsGalLv 61 decade ago
Wow, this is a big question. I don't have the virus, and I would not enter into a relationship with someone who did. Not because I think ill of them, but I don't want it. Relationships come and go but Herpes lives forever. This unfortunate woman you know, how awful for her, but it's not your job to be the one to accept her and put yourself at risk. What if you entered into a relationship with her, it lasts 3 years and dies...and you now have the disease? Then what? I wish you well, I'm glad I don't have your decision to make.
- 4 years ago
i'm easily terrified and that i've got confidence so on my own. I purely found out final week that I examined beneficial for hsv1 and 2. I even have been with a similar guy for the previous 10 years and in the final 12 months found out that he has cheated on me with distinctive women persons. i'm so scared that i will supply it to my infants with the aid of kissing them and them ingesting with me...i've got confidence like my total life has replaced. or maybe nevertheless the nurses, my generic practitioner, and internet sites say that many human beings have it I nevertheless sense like i'm with the aid of myself. My self-well worth has dropped and that i've got confidence like I even have been used up. yet now, My life is amazingly satisfied. quickly performing assured Herpes therapy?
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I knew someone who tried to date someone who is HIV positive. It didn't work out however because, even though the person loved this person dearly, they had it in the back of their mind that would get infected. He said they they would practice safe safe all the time but they were still on edge about the whole issue. So, I'm saying this to say that you have to consider the fatc that even though you care about this person, you have to consider the whole issue of how you react if by chance you were infected.
- 1 decade ago
Rubbers. And go to Yahoo health and read up on it. That way you can get all your ?'s answered and weigh the pros and cons.