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I can't let go of Him?

I lost my virginity to him. Fell in love with this guy after sleeping with him. O.k so we've been together for over a year. I recently decided to sleep with him. Two months after he tells me he's getting married, while we were still together. It's an arranged marriage. He said he has to get married to the girl his parents chose for him . He said that I am a responsibility and he wants to be a free man. I know I should just accept that there's nothing left between us but it's so hard for me. I asked him for another chance but he really doesn't want to. I only asked him b/c last year we broke up and he asked me for another chance and i gave it to him. i guess life isn't fair. I feel like i chose the wrong man to lose my viriginity to. Now I have a broken heart. It's been 3 months now since he gave me the bad news.I still haven't

been able to let go of him. We still talk. I wish there was something i can do to get him back. He's getting married in December and said he doesn't want a g/f.

16 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    you should be happy. At less he is not playing with you, right? If you do feel this way, then you choose the right guy to lost your virginity to. at least this one isn't playing with your mind.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It doesn't matter whom you "lose" your virignity to... What does matter is that you stay happy and healthy, and eventually find a good man who appreciates you for who you are. You have to chalk this up to experience, and move on; it's not easy, but believe me, everyone has been there, and has moved on. Time cures everything - with a little help from you. Stop groveling, and start living; reach out to your family and friends for support, and stop talking to this guy! He doesn't want you, end of story, there's nothing you can do to change it; don't be pathetic, you're only prolonging the agony. It's best to turn your attention to something else, and try to make a better choice next time around!

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  • 1 decade ago

    He is off-limits... he is not right for you. It doesn't matter how you feel about him, he doesn't feel the same way and he is getting married soon to someone else anyway. The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself, which you are not doing by pining away for him. You need to treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. Enlist the support of your family and best friends in your effort to getting over him. Make sure you do things you enjoy, move on with your life, and don't have regrets, decide that it was important for you to have this learning experience, that this horrible pain is only temporary, and will one day fade, and add to your character because what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Don't let it conquer you, don't let it control you by making you afraid to trust or love again, remain pure in spirit, get that back for yourself, it is not an impossible task, you just have to make that choice.

    Good luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Ok, on this situation one thing comes to mind. There is more than one fish in the ocean. Which means, you are still young and full of life. Move on with your life, stop talking to him because that is really not good for you right now. Life is too short to be dwelling on this one guy when there are more in the world. And you never know the next guy get, may be the one for you and make you forget about this guy.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I had no idea I was gonna write this much, so I figured I'd go back to the beginning and ask you to please make sure you read the whole thing, this is all with my best ingerest at heart. Good luck! Sorry to hear that you're so hurt. Love stories don't always have a happy ending. However, if you keep trying to hold on to a relationship that only wants to die, you're depriving yourself the opportunity to find someone new. I know you think that your life without this guy is an impossibility. When my first love got rid of me I cried for three days -Shhh, don't tell anyone! : ) I tried to get back with her, even if only for the sex. But eventually she got engaged to someone else and said it was best to stop talking altogether. You've had your time with this guy, so enjoy the memories but DON'T waste the rest of your life crying over a relationship that didn't go the way you wanted. If you want to, take a whole day and make yourself as miserable as you want about the situation. Cry, watch a bunch of sad love story movies, put all your energy that day into grieving the loss of your prince charming.(The guy who waited until you gave up the nookie to tell you he had to marry someone else) A real winner, right? The reason you want this guy so badly is because you've probaly never had a man walk awy from you before. I'll bet you have guys trying to get your number on a regular basis and you're always the one with the rejection card. It's driving you nuts that this dude could simply walk away after you told him he was the first to sleep with you because now he's a challenge. In other words, you're having to chase HIM! Challenge to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. You can't fight it, it just takes hold of you and you lose all power gradually or suddenly! You become paralyzed when it comes to controlling your feelings for this guy and you can't understand what's happening to you. The more he says no, the more you want him, and the more you want to make him say yes... Ok, now back to the grieving. When you're all done that day, sign yourself up for some dance classes(salsa is awesome!) so you can relax and expose yourself to guys who can move on the dance floor. It'll be fun. If you're still in school(I don't know your age) join the debate club, speaking in public about issues that are important to you will build your confidence and make it easier for you to stand up to the wrong guy next time. If you out of school already, try Toastmasters.Oh, remember to forgive yourself if your mad at yourself for the way things turned out with this guy. And CONGRATULATIONS on your first heartbreak. Everyone should know what it's like to lose someone you love, I know it feels aweful but guess what? If you feel as bad as I think you do, there's nowhere to go but up from here. Let him go, It's what's best for you. Thanks for reading this entire freekin' essay of mine and best wishes in your future relationships!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It doesn't seem as if you are in love as much as are obsessed. He is telling you in no uncertain terms that he does not want to be with you. Get a back bone and find someone free and emotionally open. Tell your self you deserve more than a sometimes man. I guarantee if you stick around he will make you his whore on the side. Don't regret the past learn from it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    He's getting married and it's time for you to move on and let it go.He's not coming back to you and you may be hurt,but that's a choice you made.I'm not trying to be mean but you are chasing after someone who told you that he don't want a girlfriend.Stop being down for giving up your virginity, you did and can't take it back now.Move on and get your self esteem back.Focus on doing something that make your life better.

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  • 1 decade ago

    yea i know how you feel, my ex and i were together for a while, but we've never done anything like that, but he had an arranged marrige and i was stupid a broke up with him over stupid stuff, and now hes married with the girl whos a real B***h, she purposely had a misscarige cuz she didnt want the baby, and she cheats on him, and he knows this but still is with her, and i told him how i felt and i know he still loves me, it get all crappy sorry for rambling on lol but maybe you should find someone new to fill in the emptyness?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    When a woman sleeps with a man, did you know that her entire body chemistry changes? Yeah. We're designed to make it hard to let go of those we've slept with. I wish I knew what to tell you hon. They say time heals all wounds and I sure hope they're right. It wasn't fair of him to get involved with you when he knew he had to marry someone else. I hope you are able to find resolution and peace somehow!

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  • First loves are hard to let go of and will always hold a special place in your heart. He has an arranged marriage, holy I thought we lived in the 21st century! He has committed to this somewhat unwillingly and you have to accept it. Keep busy and when you least expect it, love will be there for you.

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