mj622 asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 decade ago

how do i stop being so shy around people?

when i was younger i made friends very quickly and i was fairly outgoing. but now its much harder for me to open up to people, other girls or boys. i feel intimidated when im around someone that is really outgoing or that i WANT to be freinds with, i get even quieter. i have a best friend and a boyfriend who i am also very close with but i just feel like i have a lot of acquaintances and i would liek to have more friends that i feel comfortable hanging out with outside of school. im very outgoing at home i just want to know how i can bring that to school or anywhere else..

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I really feel for you, I am very out going and i sometimes get a little bit like you do. it is nothing to feel bad about but it is affecting your happiness. It sounds to me that you need to start to feel good about who you are as a person and like yourself more. You sound like an intelligent young woman who is thoughtful and interesting. Not many people are able to put into words how they feel about things, the way you have.

    You know, the main problem might not be that you can't open up to people, it might be that the people you hang around with are not your type of people, maybe they are just not on your wave length and in the future when you are doing a job or at college or university you will find that you are able to identify more easily and be close to others who share similar interests as you do. You sound very like me... a thinker.

    I recommend this book to you, i wish i had read it when i was younger.. it is called Be your own life coach, by Fiona Harrold. It helps you to be incontrole of your life and see your own worth and how wonderful you are, and feel amazing about yourself. You sound like a great girl. Remember most of the people around you are feeling vunerable and wanting to be liked, most people aren't as confident as they appear, especially the really loud ones, it is usually fake confidence, don't become like that. Do things you enjoy, get into more hobbies and do more and that way you will have things to talk about and you will also be having a good time. Everyone is different, the world is made up of billions of different personalities and not everyone is outgoing, and that is what makes the world a wonderful place, the fact we are not all the same, it is perfectly acceptable to be introverted ( unless it is making you unhappy of course) but don't be too critical of yourself. Think about all the great things that make you who you are and make you special. Don't value your worth by other peoples opinions, instead value and love the human being that you are and are becoming. Get that book, you wont regret it, and also i think you could talk to your family about how you feel and i bet they would understand. good luck to you, have a wonderful life and enjoy being you. your unique and special so remind yourself of that 50 times a day.

    All the best :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, I just started a topic that i liked. for Exsample, I like Rock, Hard Rock, so I started something about Korn on the Bus. when the next day started, I talked about something elts, and no i dont even start the topic, i just talk. If you have a close friend, or one you havent talked to in a while, start talking with them first, you'll feel more confortable, then people you barly know, and finly people you dont even know. Well, not strangers, but at school and stuff.

  • 4 years ago

    Experience. Keep talking to them, keep trying. Think of public speaking. The first time anyone does it, they're petrified. Most people are scared after ten times. But if you do it a thousand times, it's no big deal. Same with this. Plus, prepare stuff to say. Have quick stories, observations about schools, dumb jokes, ready-made opinions that you can just crank out, but make it sound like you just thought of them. Practice makes ...

  • 1 decade ago

    Your problem may not lie in shyness, it lies in inability to get or get into rapport. Do a yahoo search on that word to find out more about it and how it helps one to reach the conversational goals.

    My next advice to you is to focus on one technique: ask many questions. Every answer can be a lead to another question. Play games with words, like when you talk/ask question about the last word in the sentence someone just said. You can even try to match random words, like when someone says: "It's interesting how birds of opposite sex find each other.." you go "oh, yeah, speaking about SEX, have you ever.." etc.

    As you focus on asking questions, you will find your shyness magically disappear. People love answering questions, especially those about themselves.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should team up with someone new for a school project or something. If you feel more comfortable at home, invite them over to work on the project and maybe you will be able to create a new friendship.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just do it! Its soooo intimidating, but you cant lose anything by trying! Remeber the best things about yourself, then remeber that you are an awesome person. Thsi gives you the confidence you need to be outgoing!

    PS I realize that sounds like a hallmark commercial, and I didn't mean it to, that just how it came out. Good Luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    be friends with scott D. you guys are pretty much the same. and just be urself. It'll be a lot harder for you NOT to makes friends if ur the outgoing person you are at home

    lol

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well I have this same problem...I get really tense around people and I blush REALLY easily. The best thing you can do is just wing it, and go for it. Just hiding doesn't really solve anything. Hang out often with the friends you have now, and try meeting people they know too so it's easier.

  • My advice is talk to people more often and don't be shy just have fun and relax and make sure you find the right friends who aren't the shy type. I can be shy sometimes but I get use to working in an office and my dad tell's me don't be shy April do what you have to do at my office.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well one way to bring your confidence up is by having acting classes. It makes you feel more comfortable around people, not nervous anymore. Or you could just try to change and ask your family to help you with that.

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