Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

I am confused please help?

I am 21 years old and live with my mother and little sister.

I moved back home when I found out my mom's health was going downhill and fast. We are expecting her not to live another 2 years.

My father died last year of a heart attack, and I have no close family (most of my family is deciesed). My mother has no close friends (her best friend also recently died).

When my mother dies, what will happen with my 13 year old sister? Will she go to me? Or will she go to a foster home?

Sorry for such a dumb question, I'm just really scared of losing her.

21 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    There are never any DUMB questions...only dumb have a very valid question and hopefully this will help!!!

    Make sure your mom has a living trust or a will and make sure it is should state that everything should be left for you and your will get custody of your sister, she will only go to a foster home if you don't want her but that is not the case here...hopefully you can collect social Security payments on behalf of your sister because of your fathers passing and this she should go towards her well being...good luck with your future and I send my condolences on your fathers passing and sorry to hear about your mother...I wish you all the best and I am very proud to see that you are willing to make sure that your younger sister will be well taken care off and that she has a chance to do well in this precious life!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    I dont think they will take her away from you,you are her close family and family should stick togather no matter what because if the take her to a foster care they will not give her the love that you will give but only give her food and clothing you should support each other through difficult times and I hope your mother can get better so that she can see you little sister grow into a fine little lady,it is so painful to lose a parent at your age trust in God and pray for your mother.

  • nimo22
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Your mother can specify in her will where she wants your sister to go upon her passing. I'm glad you want to take care of your sister, that will be the best for both of you. Make sure you have everything in place, finances, a place to live, where she will go to school when she lives with you, etc. Have all that together just in case there are any questions about whether you will be able to handle taking care of a teenager. But if it's in your Mom's will, there shouldn't be any problems with you becoming her guardian. Another thing you should be considering, are your Mom's finances in order? If she passes away and leaves you her "estate" as they call it, you will also inherit any bills she might have. You should try to get an attorney, one who specializes in wills and stuff like that. Attorney's are expensive though. Many places have organizations that provide free or low-cost legal assistance to people. See if you can find one of those organizations, or an attorney who volunteers so many hours of free work (yes, these people actually do exist). I bet it's hard for you, you are probably emotionally drained and it's hard to think of all of these practical and legal things, but they really must be done to ensure your future and your sister's future. Good Luck to you, I'm sorry you are having to go through all this, I wish I could make it better for you.

  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, this in NOT A DUMB QUESTION!! We all are here to help...and you are here to hear from us!! If you are willing to and have the motivation to care for your sister (i'm sure u do), i suggest you do. If you think that you don't have enough support in life and cannot provide her with what she needs, there is always a foster home she can stay at and she will be taken care of there. It depends on how far u are willing to go and do for ur sister. If you are willing to go do anything for her, i suggest u keep her close by :) she is your sister, and you are her older brother....


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  • 1 decade ago

    I am really sorry about your dad and mum. You are a very Strong person and i pray the Lord will keep you and your sister under his guidance.

    I think, 21 is an adult and old enough to make a decision on where her sister stays. i think it really depends on you, if you are capable of taking care of her, why let her go to a foster home?

  • 1 decade ago

    Sorry to hear your father passed away and that your Mom is not doing to well.As far as your little sister you certainly can take custody of her,your 21 so your age is fine.As long as you can take care of her and yourself financially and more important emotionally there's no problem.I just like to say to you,that's great that your willing to take on that responsibility.I wish you all the luck in the world,you just hang in there and you'll be fine.Things always get better especially when you do stand up things like this take care .

  • 1 decade ago

    Its hard time for you now and not seem to find a way out of this situation but to see this through accept life as it is and then move on. Think positively and know that you are not alone nor the first one. Am sorry to say this coz i know what you are going through right now and the love we always share with our parents but thats how God made it. Be a shield to your sister and give encouragement at this time. Mature early and provide a better life to her by maybe working to raise funds for all of you.

    If it needs to get deeper please email me on

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, she will hopefully go to you. You are lucky your mother is still alive and sane, she can write a leter stating her intentions and wishes that your sister goes to yu. Hopefully you will not be challanged to produce this, but it may help. You are 21, so in the meantime, you ought to set yourself up with a reliable job, car, and house so that when the time comes you are able to prove you are responsible and able. Good luck and may God bless you.

  • 1 decade ago

    i will pray that GOD givs her health and shes healthy soon n may she live long....but if GOD forbid what u r afraid of goes on to hapen then still u r the on who should be taking care of ur sistr...ull be arnd 22 or 23 by the time u talkin about...and i feel that age is good enough to look after your younger sister...and i hope u r done with ur studies...and if not...try focus more on ur studies so that u r able to work and look after ur sister....y does this thought of leaving her come to ur mind? dont u want to keep her with u? or u urself plan 2 marry or something?

  • 1 decade ago

    Are you able to take sis in? If so she can go with you. There is a little bit of paperwork, the court would rather a family member take a kid then the kid going to fostercare...Also check with the state your in, you can receive money and medical insurance for sis. California is this way i know.

    Sorry about your mama :(

    Edit to add...Check with social security...sis maybe able to collect funds from them to till she is 18.

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