How do I forgive someone who betrayed me?

My good friend (we'll call him Mike) introduced me to a girl (we'll call her Debbie). Later Debbie and I started a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Then unexpectantly, she broke up with me and about an hour later Debbie got with Mike. It broke my heart, and I remember that was one of the saddest days of my life. Luckily, I had great friends who supported me after this. Now, almost 2 years later Mike wants to talk to me and he gives me his phone through AIM. He suggests we go out and talk about how we've been etc. I feel akward on the phone and I don't know what to do so I tell him I'll call him back later with a decision. He seems like he want to be friends again but when i remember what happens I have second thoughts. How can I forgive him? I don't know what to do because I kinda do want to but I kinda don't. What should I do?? Please help.

Update:

I forgot to mention, he keeps telling me he's sorry. Even that day he told he he was sorry and he didn't mean it to happen. Although, they didn't break up till later...

Update 2:

My name is Oscar

Debbie= Girl

Mike= My Ex Best Friend (male)

20 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's not really to forgive and forget but the other way around. It's easy to say you forgive the person who hurt you and yet everytime you see that person the pain he gave you still keep coming back. As the saying goes time heals all wounds. So give yourself all the time it needs to heal you from the pain your friend caused you. You'll know it when your ready to forgive him that is when you have totally forgotten what he did to you. You have to forget first before you could really forgive!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should go. It's the best way for both of you to have a closure as to what had happen. You really need to talk about it. If things go out fine then that's good for both of you. If not, at least you won't be wondering why and asking yourself what the hell happen. It don't feel good to go on with life with a lot of excess baggage. Hope you know what I mean..........

  • 1 decade ago

    Did Mike ever explain himself to you about him hooking up with your ex? Well, I don't know if it's possible for you to forgive him. Since you kinda want to be friends with him again just talk to him and see how things go, but you probably shouldn't get close to him ever again. He could be an aquaintance of yours or something.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'd give the guy a shot. Maybe he'll give you the apology you need to give yourself some closure. Maybe he doesn't even know how badly he hurt you. Either way, just going out and rehashing old times doesn't mean you have to completely trust him again and promise him your first born child.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well, it's hard to forgive sum1 like tt.coz sum1 also did the same tink to me.well, at first i and her was bestie.we do everytink together.and even get into trouble together but wen i knew she backstabbed me in silence.i grew angry at her.but soon, i forgave her on account of our long, long, frenship.it's hard.i noe.but sumtimes, u have to let tinks go u noe.if not, it will bug u for the whole of ur life.even though i forgave her, i seldom talk to her nowadays...i feel like our frenship have been a crazy one.but still, it's okeyy if u dun wanna forgive him coz he also did a mistake.maybe u should go out and tell him wat u felt.explain everytink and try to solve the problem calmly..anywayss,, i will support u.!! :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Lifes tooo short to waste your time on Mike. If he was serious about you, he would not of done what he did to you the 1st time.

    Their are better guys out there for you,just be patient.

    Edith

  • 1 decade ago

    Sometimes it is hard to forgive and let go.

    I was betrayed by someone and still cannot let it go.

    Marjorie Astrofsky screwed me over and I don't think I will ever forgive or forget.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    U all should be friends again

    unless mike n that girl planned it all then

    not worth being friends again

  • 1 decade ago

    Friends don't betray each other, point blank. If he has, then he was never a friend to begin with. I don't date any of my friend's Exs and neither do my friends mine. we all know that they are off limits, even the Exs themselves know that.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hello friend.. i know that its not easy to forgive especially in your situation right now.. but you know what,you have to learn how to forgive him. Jesus learns to firgive us despite of all the sins that we have committed,how much more tayo.. we have to learn how to forgive and of course we must learn also haw to forget... ok?

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