SPank them till they behave!?

A few parents I know spank their toddlers (mainly little girls) and they are very well behaved. my 17th month old son is very aggressive. when i spank him and tell him not to do something (throwing/hitting) he usually laughs and imitates me by spanking himself. i've been trying to discipline him by giving him time outs but he doesnt seem like he understands what i'm trying to teach him. Is there a difference between boys and girls? and how can i discipline him effectively?

Update:

also he's more aggressive around friends and family...

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    My son is the same way. Spanking doesn't work for aggressive children. We put our son in time out. He knows it's punishment. He will go to the corner and cry because of it. if you can't keep your son in the corner then put him in his crib for one minute. It's not long to us but you put them in time out for 1 minute to the number of years old (5 yrs 5min. etc) Also this will sound awful but my mom told me that he will stop when it happens to him. So he will get knocked down by another kid a few times before he gets it. Every kid is different just be patient and try different ideas.

  • 1 decade ago

    I can not believe some of these answers I'm reading. It appears that you do not know an appropriate way to discipline you child. You spank him, he laughs at you and is mocking you by spanking himself. So you still think that this punishment is working on him? It's only working on you. Your getting out your aggravations. But this is only temporary. Till he or she acts up again. So you do the same thing. Don't you realize that the spanking is not working!!!

    You put your child in a time out corner, minutes based on age. You take away priveledges (no tv, video games, favorite toys...) But never ever hit your child. This only teaches him or her that aggression is acceptable. By taking away some priveledges, over time your child will realize that you are the parent in charge. He/she may show aggression at the begining of your new found discipline, but will in the end, sucumb to your authority. All you people, quit hitting your kids!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    By spanking your child he now beleives it is okay to hit. All children are unique and different. I would try the word no(sometimes it is the tone of your voice) I will also say repetative and consistant teaching is the key. He is still quite young yet. Teach him throwing is done outside with a ball and do it with him.If that doesn't work, take away the things he is throwing explain to him why you are taking these things away. Tell him it is unacceptable behavior. Eventually he'll catch on. It just takes a lot on your part to hang in there. There will come a time a need for a spanking save that for more major things,like running into the street. Good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    You must be stern but should avoid resorting to a spanking. when a child behaves in a way you do not want, first tell them to stop nicely. If they continue, use a more stern tone of voice and say "stop". At this stage you can say "If you continue, you will be put on a time out". Be serious. Get down to their level and look them in the eye. Make sure they can see that you mean it. And always follow through. If it continues take them on a time out. One minute for each year of there lives. Ignore and do not speak to the child while in time out. All they want is attention. when you take them out of time out explain way they were there and get them to apologies. Then give them a hug and kiss. always praise good behavior and ignore bad. If you only punish the bad, this is the only time they get attention and will continue to do so. Praise is just as important. also it is a good idea to plan some one-to-one time for play with the child every day so they don't crave the attention constantly. Also Parents should agree to method and always support each other. Otherwise the child will play you off against each other and it won't work. Good luck

    Source(s): Experience and a little help from watching the "The House of Tiny Tearaways"
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  • 1 decade ago

    Well if he imitates you, there is a problem keep him away from other young children that do those things to their parents.. You should also sit him down to let him know I am your mother and what I tell you I want you to follow it.. Spanking him is one consequence for the mis-behaving and you have to let him know why he got spank.. Don't always hit up on him because, of the things he does.. I am not telling you not to spank him but just let him know not to do this and that.. Pretty soon he will understand..

  • 1 decade ago

    I am not against spanking, I was spanked, I have spanked my kids, but it didn't work, and I did spank hard enough.. the things with kids, is they move from one thing to another. you could spank him everytime he does something wrong, or you could "think" like a child.. taking something away doesn't affect them the way you would think, they have so much stuff that they don't respect and adore everything, and you take away the "cool" toy and in an hour, they'll have a different one.. the ONE thing that worked with me, i have a 7 yr old (g), 4 yr old (b) and a 2 1/2 yr old (g).. is if he/she stomped, i had her stomp 100 times outside.. if she yelled, then she screamed in her room for a few minutes.. she tried on so many different clothes, i had her fold and unfold all her clothes.. think of things like that.. then, they don't know what the punishment is, and think of something relevant to what he did wrong...

  • 1 decade ago

    Get that butt,not love taps,get that butt with a belt.Be sure it's the butt and not,arms,face,back,legs,hands.Get it for a good 10 seconds,then sit him down and tell him not to move.After that the only thing you'll have to do is give him the look,tell him he's getting a spanking,Show him the belt.Use words like,stop,don't,behave.Never curse at him,never spank just because your mad,if you do you'll be taking your anger out on him and that could cause you to really hurt him.So have control of your emotions or child protection will be all over you like a ton of bricks.This is a discipline not an outlet for your anger.If that does not seem to work,start over,meaning get that butt only when necessary.Use your judgement on when that is.And yes girls are different,girls listen better,boys are more hard headed.

  • 1 decade ago

    oooh...i would think twice before spanking that child to often...i have a 23 month and i started a just a few months ago spanking her for getting into things. let me tell you...just getting down to her level and talking to her and letting her know she's doing something wrong works better. i put her in day care at 21 mths and i found that spanking her made her more aggressive towards other kids. i mean now she was playing mommy and if kids were fighting or yelling or hitting, she would spank them. most day cares won't allow too much aggression from kids. but my daughter was just doing what her mommy does to her. so think about it before you spank your baby, if you can get your son to listen to you by just talking to him and putting him on time out try that route first always....

  • beth l
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    There is definately a difference between boys and girls. But, there is also just personality differences. I have 3 boys a my oldest is a "pleaser", if I even told him not to do something once or twice he didn't, my second you could beat til he was blue - no effect, but grounding or taking away privledges breaks his heart, my 3rd a spanking works wonders.

    17 mo. is a dicy age anyway. I have noticed, through the yrs., that boys don't play well at that age. If you have the same friends (for your son) in 2 yrs you will notice a difference. They (boys) seem to be very aggressive and challenging at that age. If someone else has something they want it....

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Parents are their children's first and most important teachers...congratulations you've taught your son how to be violent. He is imitating you because that is what YOU taught him. YOU taught him how to hit. Now when he does the same to another child what YOU taught him YOU are going to be angry with him and more than likely hit him again. Once again teaching him that hitting, violence is the answer to everything. My suggestion is to stop hitting the child and start using time outs, setting rules and boundaries. Make things like television, computer time (yes some parents let their toddlers play on the computer), videos, privileges to be EARNED rather than handed to him when he wants. Get a child gate, put it in the doorway of his bedroom and when he behaves unacceptably put him in his bedroom, telling him that when he feels he can behave he can come out of his room. Either that or keep beating on him so that when he starts hitting other kids their mother's will start keeping their kids away from him.

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