Big Marriage Problems: Depression, Hoarding, Drinking?

My husband of 14 years was like prince charming. Caring, considerate, romantic, the whole deal. Soon before the birth of our 2nd child 8 years ago, he started to change. Hanging out with friends and doing favors for them, leaving me alone all the time. He barely gives me or the kids any attention. Also, in the last few years, he's become depressed and stressed out constantly (he blames it on his family's business, which was changed when his dad died). Holidays, vacations (1 weekend a year) and any events we have to attend are major stress situations for him, to the point where he's unbearable. I try to keep the kids from being too affected or aware of his issues. Also, he's a hoarder to the nth degree. There are whole rooms I can't use because they're packed with stuff. He uses alcohol as medication.If I try to bring up any of these issues, he says things like "it's Your perception that my (drinking, hoarding, friendship, etc) is a problem." Won't do therapy or meds. Help

5 Answers

  • Otis F
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's time for an intervention. You need to meet with a mental health professional and get them to help you have an intervention. You, his close family, and close friends must be aware of how he is. Get the closest of them together and tell him that all of you think that he needs help. Then, tell him that he has to get help or get out. It's difficult, but it's what's needed.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    i will tell you what will happen in the future. Now everyone understand that a normal human being is made between a man and a woman, but in times your kids will start thinking that it is normal to have sex with a same sex person and you will see more men trying it with other men and same with women and women. In the end it will end up with a human being race which is completely homo's, because your kids will try experincing same sex and everyone will be living in sin. Later maybe woman and woman will want to have kids and with technology and gene science may be that will be possible and then that will be the start of none natural human among us or clone.There will be a point where it will be hard to find a real man or woman. Planting a bad seed in your garden now, will destroy the whole garden over time. The society is already sick, and people must foreseen the bad things of legalising same-sex marriage in Australia. May be that can lead to some insane practice like bestiality which will be seen as normal later in the future.

  • 1 decade ago

    Start talking to a therapist and get some advice. maybe during one of these sessions you can "trick" him into coming with you. He needs help and fast. Start going through those rooms and throwing away anything that doesnt look important. After all, it is your house too and you would like to have extra space right? And possesion is only 50%. Half that crap is yours, if you dont want it throw it out!

  • 1 decade ago

    Well first of all he should be with his family not his friends. It is ok to be out sometimes with your friends but family comes first. He could be acting as if he is depress so he can get out of the house. He need to go to AA and he has to do it for himself he is not going to do it for you and your children. Could be having an affair as well you might want to look into hiring an investigator if you can afford one.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think that it's time for you to lay it out on the line to him. Tell him that unless he gets the help he needs, you will leave. Perhaps that will scare him into getting help. If he still refuses to get help then he loves his alcohol more than you and you are better off without him,.

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