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living together...?? serious answers with some maturity PLEASE!?

if you have been with somebody for two years (and you are both 20) and seriously talking about engagement and weddings and the like, would it be wrong for the guy to move into the girls apt? if you have done nearly everything a married couple does except fall asleep together and wake up together and you long to do that and spend every free minute of every day together, what would your take be on living together?

(he still lives with his parents and wants me to be with him when he talks to them about the living arrangements...should i have to be there with him? i know they will forbid it and look down upon us...)

so-right to live together...and do i have to be with him when he approaches his parents with the idea... ??????????

16 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Are you sure this is what you want? It is a big deal to have someone move in with you. IF he does, please do yourself a favor and get him on the lease, just in case.

    I don't think it is wrong for you guys to live together, but be prepared to see a whole new side of him. Are you ready for that? Hopefully for your sake, he isn't a slob. There is a risk that moving in together may mess up the relationship, but you two have been together for 2 years so you should be fine.

    The issue about talking to the parents...I think it is more for him then it is for his parents, so Yes, you should be there. You should be able to be there for your lover. I feel if you approach the parents in a mature way, that everything will work out just fine, Maybe even buy some cute stuff for the apartment.

    **When/ if you talk to the parents I reccomend that you talk them out to a nice resturant, public places are always a good idea when you are breaking big news to someone. Goodluck!

    Source(s): my experience
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There's nothing wrong with the two of you living together.

    Here's my take on things in general though. your both very young now and things could very well change between the two of you. So keep that in mind. It's great that you know tthat you can pay your ent and bills on your own. Does your boyfriend realize that you will have to share all those bills 50/50 and that they have to be paid every month.

    Living with parents and living on your own are very different things

    The other thing is realize that there will be an adjustment period when you move in together. Things will not be easy at first.

    Make sure that you guys have talked about everything before taking this step.

    You don't have to be there when he talks to his parents. Your both adults he should be able to handle his parents reaction. He's the one that will really have to live with it.

    Good Luck.

    Source(s): Experience, my boyfriend moved in with me after dating for two years. His apartment was falling apart though.
  • 1 decade ago

    I have been in a relationship with my bf for nearly 8 years and we have lived together for 7. Coming from experience in my opinion, it is a good idea to live with the person before you get married. We live in a world with a very high divorce rate and a lot of it has to do with people not really getting to know each other first. I think the mature and responsible thing to do is to state your case to his parents with you by his side. They may not like it at first, but the fact that you were adult enough to face them may get them to look at you in a different light. As the mature woman that you are. I think that you are doing the right thing instead of jumping into something permanent like marriage you are testing the waters first and seeing if you really can handle being together 24/7. I really wish you the best of luck to both of you.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that since you do have the rest of your lives to spend together why not just wait until you do get married to live together. There is something special about waiting...there is anticipation...a build up and excitement for that day. It's like saying you can't wait to get married so let's just go in front of a judge and we'll do the whole wedding part later but we a want to be married now. No...you wait in anticipation for that special day and it is magical. You do have the rest of your lives ahead of you..you're both young...why rush it. Savor this time and you will also be respecting the wishes of his parents. Even though you are both adults his parents wishes for the two of you come from a deep place of caring and wisdom. Take care and take it slow. :)

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  • Tim
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    You're adults, it's your choice. One thing to consider though, is what happens if you split up? I'm sure right now you're not thinking about that, but it's a lot harder to get a guy to leave if he's living with you. If you want to fall asleep together and wake up together, why can't he spend the night from time to time, but still live at his parent's house? There would be fewer complications that way, for one thing.

    If you do let him move in though, it sounds like he's going to need all the emotional support he can get when he tells his parents. They're his parents and he needs to deal with them-- but if this is something you want, you need to be there to support the man you love. Wouldn't you want him to be there to support you in a similar situation?

  • 1 decade ago

    There are some things to take into consideration. If he moves in with you, he'll be 1/2 responsible for the place. Do you know his "at home habits"? Is he a responsible person who is willing to make compromises? Are you? Living together doesn't seem different from just dating and being so involved, but it is.. You'll each get to know alot better.

    If you've both thought out everything and anything that could happen or that you'll have to deal with, then I say you're ready...

    good luck to you both!

  • 1 decade ago

    He is a man he can handle his own parents, and this is a step I believe he should take on his own. I see no problem with you two finally taking that step. It's big though and there will be a lot more arguing and you will need your breaks from him.(just girl time) Just make sure that when he does move in he has responsibilities too and make him help with bills and what not. You've been through it and now he can have a little responsibility in his life to see how tough it is in the real world without mommy and daddy.

  • 1 decade ago

    Live together first. It's a great way to see if married life would work for both of you anyway. It's a great idea in my opinion. I lived w/ my fiance for a year and then realized I wouldn't marry him if my life depended on it. Or you could really enjoy being w/ him all the time and realize that he's the man you should spend the rest of your life w/. His parents wll get over it.

  • 1 decade ago

    You have to be there when he makes the arrangements because this isn't just his wedding, and it will give your in-laws the chance to get to know you better. Pray to God for wisdom and strength, to know if you are ready and to guide you through the journey of matrimony. If both of you have lived together for 2 years, then there is a big chance that both of you have already established the sense of sacrifice, cooperation and love needed to sustain a relationship (although I am not guaranteeing anything).

    I hope that things work out between both of you!

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    i don't think of that each and every physique the previous stuff has lots to do with what you're experiencing real now in line with what she informed you approximately feeling non sexual. in simple terms like men have problems in that branch whilst they are under pressure with artwork, so do women. I comprehend which you're saying you have been in a stressful activity for 6 years yet I doubt that each and every day grew to become into fairly undesirable. If it grew to become into you won't be there nevertheless. So possibly the adjustment to the recent activity alongside with thinking despite if or not she made the ideal occupation determination is weighing heavily on her innovations and subsequently there is in simple terms no room in her innovations real now for that. rigidity is a stressful element and it impacts anybody in similiar procedures so carry in there it would pass sounds like lots is going on real now for you too and which would be compounding her rigidity. Do you think of she is apprehensive tha as a results of fact which you in simple terms offered a house and her activity is stressful she feels trapped in that place as a results of new financial responsibilities? attempt speaking to her and notice in case you may talk by lots of the strain. good success

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