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Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 decade ago

Is it possible to keep my relationship with my 18 month daughter while i am holding down a 8-5 and go to night

school? I need to get a degree in something so i can provide for my daughter and myself. i dont want a man doing it for me. I feel guilty about it because i love my daughter and i dont get to spend enough time with her now. what do i do?

13 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    she will be fine just spend as much time with her as you can she will respect you more for this later...sometimes the rewards of parenting come a lil later in the time you finish your degree she will enjoy the time you dont have to go to school more

  • You can do it, and good for you for being motivated!

    School is temporary - it might take you a while to get through it, but think of it as a short-term sacrifice for a long-term solution. Also, some colleges offer Saturday classes, classes that only meet four or five times per semester (the rest is homework), online or TV courses, and other solutions for working parents, so you might look into those options as possibilities to give you more time at home.

    You know, a person can be with their children all day, and maybe it's meaningful time well spent -- maybe it's not. But if you make the time with her count by reading or coloring together, playing blocks, taking her grocery shopping with you & giving her little jobs to do like hold the list or pick out the cereal, snuggling & watching a favorite video, or set her up at the table with a plastic knife & some fruit and make fruit salad together. Don't go to the extreme and keep her so busy that there's never a dull moment, but just little things here and there to let her know she's special and fun for you to be with.

    As other people have suggested here, make sure you're there as much as possible for routine care, such as baths & bedtime -- those are important bonding times -- maintaining a routine is comforting for children & makes separation easier because they know they can depend on you being there for those special times. Use whatever time you can grab -- such as talking to her & singing kids' songs with her in the car, or while you're cooking. If you just make the best use possible of the time you have with her, she'll be fine -- and you'll feel a little less guilty because you'll know you really made those moments count.

    You should also feel good about the message you're sending to this little girl who will be a woman herself one day -- she will respect your strength, commitment, and determination to be self-sufficient, and she'll grow up to appreciate how hard you worked to make a good life for her. What a powerful, positive example you are setting for your daughter!

  • Lady C
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I am going to be doing the same thing come this fall and next spring semester. I feel exactly the way you do. But in the end it will all pay off b/c we will have a better life for our daughters. If you ever want to chat IM me at cherries222003 or email there too it's a yahoo email. Good Luck at school. By the way what do you want your major to be? I want to become a social worker.

  • 1 decade ago

    Consider slowing down night school so you have only a class or two. Work time with her into everything possible--baths, cooking, cleaning, etc.

    See if you can arrange phone calls with her at least once a day when she is in day care.

    Can you look for an 8-5 job that has a daycare onsite, so you can visit her?

    Good luck juggling, she knows you are mommy, and all time with you is good time, even when she's fussy, as that's part of life.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yes it is VERY possible to do so, I myself just received two associates in May while raising an 8 yr old and a 22 month old and one on the way. It is rough and challenging. Specially when your child says you never have enough time for them. I took out time for both my kids before they went to bed to play a game, read a book and just to talk. Also Dinner whenever possible, try every night, which i know with school is not always possible, have dinner together to just talk and be together.

    GL it is HARD work.....

  • 1 decade ago

    I think you keep doing what your doing but ensure you are spending some quality time with her every day (even if 30 minutes). Then once you finish school, since it is not a forever thing, make sure you continue to build on the relationship and spend more quality time with her.

  • 4 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yes. Carve out and schedule a few hours for her on Saturday or Sunday. Just for you and her and don't waver on that time. Go out and shop or do something fun. She will look forward to spending that time with you after a hard long week of not being able to see you. Make sure she knows that that is her time. Anything she wants to do and talk about you will do with her.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You are are good mom and women!! Dont let Guilt stop you!!! When you do get time to rest rest and when you do get time to spend with your daughter spend it with her. You will always be the most importaint thing in her life dont worry bout that.As long as you love her and let her know, Every thing will be fine. I did the same thing.But my kids have a good life now!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    i have to say sometimes u have to do what best for ur kid or kids but remind u u need to make time for her couse she well start calling the baby sister or day care work or who ever is watching her mommy she dosent know no better and this happen to my friend she end up getting grants to go to school and being payed for going gas money and all even child care payed for so she could spend more time with him

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