How do I have this conversation with him??
I'm 24 and have been dating this guy for a month now. After our first date, we saw each other almost every day. We really hit it off. One day, he was making plans with me and said, "Ok..when you get here I have to talk to you.." But he never said anything. I remembered when we were at the bar later that he wanted to talk to me. He had been drinking and basically told me that he wants to be my boyfriend and be exclusive, but that we should talk about it later when we weren't drinking. Since then, I have asked him twice to finish the conversation that he started....and he hasn't. If he hadn't mentioned anything before we went to the bar, I would just think that he was drunk and didn't know what he was talking about...but he said he wanted to talk to me about something hours before we even got there, which means he was sober when he was thinking about it, and also the times I asked him to finish the conversation. What do I say to him now?? I would prefer a guy's opinion.
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
When im a little drunk I feel a little more open about my feelings, especially towards women.
He was obviously telling you the truth when at the bar, but maybe he's worried how'd you react when sober. I would take initiative and just ease an answer out of him.
Don't force it though, I know from my experiences when a girl tries to force truths out of me, it can be more harm than good.
Go on your instincts too, they say nothings stronger than a womans intuition.
- bradLv 41 decade ago
He started the topic so it's my opinion that he should have the decency to finish what he started. I think he is game playing with you. My soon to be ex used to do the same thing to me. It gets frustrating after awhile. He's baiting you I think, meaning that he will give you just a little bit of communication and expect you to pour out to him. If you play his game, in my opinion, you will not be happy with the results. He should be man enough to be upfront and honest with you regarding the subject matter of your relationship and where it is going. I won't make excuses for him like , oh he is shy give him some time BS. He's looking for the upper hand. Sorry to break the news that the guy you have been dating for a month is trying to take advantage of you, in my opinion. Here is some advice. Get used to the idea that he is trying to get over on you and resolve that you will not have a relationship with him and see what happens. If he gets irritated and critical of you than break it off. Don't go to the next level with him for at least 6 more months. If he treats you good for that long than he will probably open up and finish what he started. If not than you will know you avoided the heartache and kept yourself intact at the same time. If you can't go that slow than only you will have to live with the consequences, be they positive, or negative.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I actually think you missed your best chance to get it out of him. You should have pushed a bit harder at the bar. I know I (and most people I know) get more talkative and honest when we're drinking and open up more easily. So, maybe you should get him drunk, again. I know that may sound weird, but I'm serious. If you push too hard while he's sober, he may just get angry and never tell you. Good luck!
- 1 decade ago
just talk to him