My boyfriend still goes home to his wife, what should I do?
He doesn't sleep with her though, he lives in their other house nearby. He helps me with the household expenses and we built our house together. What do you make of that?
He still has two children in college and I have three kids.. He got me to leave my womanizer of a husband.. It's a really bad situation.. We're already over 40 years old and he was talking of moving in with me completely when his kids have already graduated and taken the licensure exams. Kinda "not disturbing them in their studies". I am 99% sure he's not sleeping with her coz I can tell by his performance. Anyway I'm younger and sexier (lol) than his wife. She made the first move (or so he says) and got pregnant so he had to marry her. No divorce here.
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
My heart goes out to you. And I want you to begin to think for real, about this man, and about what LOVE really is.
I will tell you what LOVE really is; but first I will tell you from years of experience and observation this fact:
LOVE - never dies; and it can last a very long time without LUST.
LUST can not last but a short time without LOVE,
then lust dies.
What LOVE is = Being BEST-FRIENDS, having TRUST and great RESPECT, SHARING and CARING, in and equal and BALANCED way.
They have all that. Even if they don't have the lust right now, HE obviously believes he wants to stay with her without the lust.
That is where YOU come in...
he got tired of using his hand, so now he's USING you !!!
Why do you think, even if he ever leaves her, and comes to you, that in the future he'll be doing the same things to YOU !!!
He's a cheater. He DOES NOT solve his problems at home,
but he doesn't really want to leave the comfort of his home.
For the simple price of a few lies, a few items toward house keeping... and crossed fingers behind his back, he now has a woman that is gullible enough to believe she's not being used, just because he pokes her, and doesn't poke the wife (or so he claims).
But I guarantee, that if they solve their differences, he'll be poking her in a heart-beat, and you'll get dumped.
Or maybe you'll become even more grovelling, and desperate, and beg him to keep seeing you.
By going home to her, he's giving her all of his LASTING love.
By coming to you, he's giving you a lot of pokes and lies.
If you have any love for yourself as a fine person, which I'm sure you are, then do better for yourself.
This man is not your best-friend.
Become your own best-friend, and talk yourself out of allowing yourself to be used by this man.
Let him go back to using his hand instead of you, when he needs relief.
Be wise, if you want to be truly loved for a long time.
Next time, only give your love in small increments, only equal to what you receive ...and you'll do better.
- 1 decade ago
LEAVE HIM ALONE. He is married and no matter what you do and how good you think the relationship is, his wife is still going to always come first. He's lieing about not sleeping with his wife when he goes home. Of course he's gonna tell you that he's not. He's just a nasty dog that wants to use you. You should never mess around with a married man because if he ever does leave his wife, he's gonna do the same thing to you that he's doing to his wife right now, with another woman.
- 1 decade ago
" It sounds like you have made it way too easy for him and he is taking advantage of the situation..." And of you... It is hard to say on such little info and you should be able to better answer this question.. If you built a home together, why does he live in one closer to her.? That part is confusing and sad to say some men have such a lack of moral obligation that he may very well be sleeping with both of you. I know you want the truth so I suggest you take steps to find your answers before committing to this relationship even more so by having a child or even getting married.. If he is dishonest you need to know now not ten years from now.. Or even one year.. You get my point. Don't waste time on someone who is not TRUE BLUE, if he is not move on with your life.. ~ Best wishes to you. ~
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- 1 decade ago
You guys have got be kidding me. Obviously everyone here is trying not to hurt this girls feelings.
You got allot of guts coming on here and talking about screwing a married man and talking about all the amenities. I'm disappointed that there aren't anymore of you guys giving better advice. "Watching Your Back" Is putting it VERY lightly. I don't think your realize what can happen to you. Ever heard of "alienation of affection", obviously not or you just don't care. I guarantee you that if he does leave her for you. Wait till the next chance comes along. You'll be history. What goes around comes around. If he isn't having sex, which I seriously doubt because if he wasn't she would be suspicious. See he has to have sex with her to make her believe everything between them is perfect, otherwise busted. You are definitely playing with fire and the casualty will be the wife not you. You will get what you deserve and I'm here to tell you the grass is not greener. Trust me. ;)
- 1 decade ago
I think you need to really read what you wrote. Your boyfriend goes to his wife's home - are they still married - then he should be going to his wife's home. If they are getting divorced then why is he going over there?????. Second - how do you know what he is doing with his wife are you there? He helps you with the household expenses and we build our house together. Is your name on the house - most likely not - then he has put you up in his house and you are helping him pay for it. It sounds to me as if he has set up two houses and two bed partners. I think it is time you re evaluated your situation.
- 1 decade ago
He's still sleeping with his wife. The best advise I can give you is to not get involved with a man that is married. I realize that at this point you are way beyond that and you will be heartbroken, but you have to break free and find a man who can give you 100% of himself. It won't be long before your boyfriend starts seeing someone besides you and his wife. You shouldn't have to share! Be strong and stick to what your heart tells you!Source(s): personal experience
- trainer53Lv 61 decade ago
You'll need to have a life. You don't want to spend years like this do you? He needs to choose what he wants. I can't believe this is going on, he has both of you? Why hasn't he left her? So he has a life with you, but he's still married to her? I think he needs to choose what he wants, you deserve much better than this. Tell him he needs to choose now.
I was just reading what I wrote, and I am changing my mind. It is not about him choosing......it's about you choosing. It's about you deciding what you want. If you want him, tell him he needs to divorce her now. If he doesn't then move on. Why put the ball in his park? It's in yours, you aren't the one with the spouse. Go have a life girl and have some fun!
- 1 decade ago
it cracks me up how you people dating married people think that this person is yours....wife...means not yours...means he has been living 2 lives...and both of you have tolerated this--if she knows about you that is. if she does not and you ahve been a secret...do you think he is REALLY sleeping elsewhere ALL the time? especially if he has kids....he helps you with YOUR household expenses and you live in ONE of his houses....(sounds like you may not be the only girlfriend) I'm thinking youhave settled becasue it is easier than moving on....which child in your life is watching you live this lie?
- baybeegrl5Lv 41 decade ago
let me guess, he told you that he wasn't sleeping with his wife, right? why is he going home to her if the two of you have built a house together? why, if he's still married, is he your boyfriend? you're a fool being played by a fool, that's what i make of that!!