I don't want my child to call my step-mom "grandma?" Is this disrespectful?

31 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It depends on your situation.

    I have a step-mom, just as you do. I call her by her first name. This is not a sign of disrespect and she understands that. She has been in my life since I was about 7 years old. Though she is not my mother, she helped raise me as such. And, my chilren will call her Grandma. In general, you have more than one grandmother, so I don't see the issue with it. They can still call my mother Grandma as well. Considering that both my Step-Mom and my Mom will be acting as grandparent figures, they both deserve this name.

    However, if you feel like your step-mom has not been there for you, or has done something to become undeserving of such affection, that is up to you. Maybe she was not there as you grew up and you have trouble calling her Mom? I would understand that.

    Just know that from your childrens' point of view, she did not arrive on the scene late. She can still be a Grandma to them and not offend their true Grandma. this is a title for a relationship between your children and your Step-Mom, you have already established your relationship to her.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm going to assume that you want your mother to be called this only. I don't think its disrespectful if you are doing it to only honor your Mother, and not being spiteful to the step-mom.

    Your Fathers present wife will be in your child's life, and he/she should show respect to her as a member of the family. There will be time enough for your child to understand the past history and why you feel the way you do. For now, let your child learn from you on how to be a honorable young boy or girl by your example.

  • 1 decade ago

    NO - Absolutely Not !! There are other names that your child can call only your step mom. My natural grand child calls me go-go and i love it. Find something that is easy for the child to say and start using it........It is your baby and it is not your real mother. Grandma is held for the position your natural mother and if that is how you feel make that opinion known

  • 1 decade ago

    Dunno about respect, but I think a child can never have too much family to support her. I'm a stepfather. Between my folks and my wife's folks and her ex's folks and her ex-ex's folks, our kids have EIGHT grandparents. The only rule is that no one may advance a private agenda through the child. It has worked for years and it has rubbed off: Adults who don't much care for each other are at least civil with each other, and the kids have a blast.

    Perhaps you have some situational envy or jealousy issues? Perhaps you don't want those to continue forward in your child? Say "yes" if you can. It wil do no harm and might be a good thing.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    How long has your dad been married to her, if it's recent, I think it would be fine. If it's been a while it might hurt her feelings, expecially if she's made the attempt to bond with the family.

    As an alternative you could come up with another name -"Nana" or somthing like that.

    I called my step-grandmother Grandma, and my two birth grandmothers as well, never bothered anyone that I know of. I consider myself lucky to have 3 grandmothers.

  • 1 decade ago

    I wouldn't want my kids to call my step-mother grandma either...but I don't have that situation

    My stepfather has been the only "dad" that I ever knew so I think it is okay for my kids to call him "grandpa"...if you have this situation I think if would be disrespectful. However, if your situation is different from mine then NO I don't think you disrespect her at all.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, I guess that depends on alot of things. If she is a mean and hateful woman, then of course your child probably wouldn't want to call her Grandma, but if it's simply because you don't like her, let your child decide,

    depending on his or her age and how she treats him or

    her. It isn't disrespectful if you honestly feel she does not deserve that honor.

  • Kaia
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    The question is "why not"? Is your mom in the picture and you feel it would hurt her feelings? Did you have a bad relationship with your step-mom and are using your child to punish her? What do you think is appropriate for your child to call your step-mom?

  • 1 decade ago

    It depends on the situation...Whether someone is pushing that title or is your child doing it on there own. Really it is there grandma, but I feel you I would just throw up if my daughter called my dad's thing (thats what we call her) grandma. You may not like her but maybe your child has a special bond. If someone is pushing the title just politely ask them to back off and allow your child to make their own decision of what they are going to call her.

  • 1 decade ago

    I've had evil step parents...and parents...but children are innocent and so loving...what will it hurt to call her whatever your child wants to?

    I'd say grow up and think about your child. And don't let your relationship with your step mom get in the way of your child's relationship with her.

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