should I be sure..?

..that what I'm gonna do is the right choice? I wanna go abroad with my gf, who I trully love, for a year or something. we didn't get into the uni we wanted to study at (in other city) so the only way of being together is going somewhere quite far away from here. going abroad for job for a year.. or sth like that.. but when I do it.. I'll lose something and it's my mom. there won't be any possibility of coming back (to talk about my mom; my dad is ok with this all). and I'm so afraid that something will go wrong, that I won't spend the rest of my life with my gf and then.. if something goes wrong between us two, then I'll destroy (torture) myself psychically, because I won't have eother my mom nor my gf. and my mom will be like 'I was right, I told you to leave her..etc'. I'm so confused!! why I'm not sure of my decision? I want to do it and I will, but still.. I'm so afraid that something will go wrong.. and if does.. what I'm gonna do to myself..


what person who's in love thinks about what will happen if the relationship breaks..? I don't even understand myself... :(

Update 2:

my mom is against both - my gf and lesbian relationship

6 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You have to live life according to YOU! Your parents may be traditional and may be biased against any lesbian relationship. I think you should follow your love regardless. Your parents are in their twilight years and you are in your young years. The question you should ask yourself is: do you live your life for others or you? I know family are important but they can also be obstructive, especially if they don't relate to you for some reason.... Life is only life according to you!

  • 1 decade ago

    Is your mother against the lesbian relationship, or against you being with this particular girlfriend? For ages, some mothers have spoken out against their daughters' or sons' choices of partners. It is usually a part of mom's insecurity and not a short coming in you. And if her love is worth keeping, her love is genuine, she'll come around to the fact that you must make your own choices. And you'll come around to the fact that you must live with your choices, right or wrong.

    If she's just against the lesbian thing, and not this girlfriend in particular, well, it sounds as though you are a lesbian, so if you give up on this girlfriend, there will be others.

    Maybe you're not sure enough about this girlfriend to stand up to your mother and tell her that you love her, and respect her, but you're an adult living your life. If you're not sure, maybe you should slow down, and not go out into the cold cruel world together. It won't always be easy.

  • 1 decade ago

    There are very few things in life that you can be sure of, sometimes you just have to try something new. Your Mother will always be your Mother, it may just take some time for her to come around. Talk to her about it. Talk to her about GLBTQ issues and ask her to go to a PFLAG meeting with you to get more info and talk to other parents with lesbian, bi, gay, or trans kids.

    Think about why you are going aboard with your girlfriend. Is it to be with her? You could rent a place together then drive to different close colleges. Is it to become closer to her? Going aboard is a big step with lots of changes and so is living with your girlfriend full time. Are you ready for that? Is the relationship at that level? If you two have been together for over a year then maybe, shorter then that I would say to wait. College is important too. Are you both studying aboard? You could travel together in a college study aboard program. That way there is a plan of where to live, eat, do, and you get time together. If you are too afraid something will go wrong then it will, nothing goes according to plan A, there needs to be a back-up plan B. And if things get messed up it needs to be OK. If you think about hurting yourself if things get messed up then you are not ready for such a big step. Just keep talking to your Mother and go to college for a year while you think it over. You can still write and call your girl.

  • 1 decade ago

    So your mother's STILL not accepting. Well if that's not going to change and you're not going to turn, miraculously, straight (remember the right man I'd suggested she wanted to pick for you?)- then go with the girlfriend. Can't live your life on What if?'s

    I know that you're in love with your girlfriend so give it a go - if the relationship ends (worst case) then you'll be free to look for someone else, if you give up on your gf to please your mother...

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  • 1 decade ago

    go with your gf. live life. your mom will love you no matter what.

  • 1 decade ago

    OK so now what.

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