please help me... please....?

ok.. im in complete tears rite now...

me and my boyfriend have been together for some time... and we loved each other deeply... ever since a week ago... things have been so different...

he rarely says he loves me, we dont talk that much anymore.. and things just arent "serious", its always joking around... i know hes not cheating so dont bring that up.. we just had a talk about seperation and i think its bringing us down...

i still love him as strongly as ever, but i dont think he feels the same anymore, and my heart feels as if its been torn in too

what should i do? please help me...


ive tried talking to him, but he takes evrything as a joke

37 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Communicate, communicate, communicate.

    Tell him how you feel. Now that that's said, errr how exactly do you do that right?

    Well first off, communicate that you've noticed a change in your relationship. Describe the change as much as you have here. See what he says. It sounds like your relationship is/was on a pretty deep level, so I'm sure he'll be receptive to your questions. It'll be best if you start the conversation with an open mind. We tend to suspect the worst in these situations because we don't want to get hurt. Don't come into the conversation with an accusitory tone and don't come into it all blubbery with tears. Take some time compose yourself. Don't have the conversation over the phone, do it in person. There are some many things you can read from body language that you'll miss over the phone.

    If you want him to be honest with you, the last thing you want to do is guilt trip him into not being honest. By this I mean, that it sounds like he's had deep feelings for you as well and he's definitely not going to want to hurt you. If you start pouring your heart out and telling him how much you love him, if his feelings have changed he may hold back because he doesn't want to hurt you. What you need right now is to hear the truth and foster honest communication from him and be honest in return. If he does tell you bad news, then its OK to be emotional. Let him know that you still feel for him and depending on the reason, see if its something you can work through. If his feelings really have changed then, even though its painful, be glad he's being honest with you instead of dragging you along in an unfulfilling relationship.

    I know these times are rough and dealing with stuff like this is never easy. Talk talk talk to him in person. If you feel like he's not being completely honest, take a step back and say something like "I really need you to be honest with me. I know you don't want to hurt me, but if this is something important, we need to talk about it".

    Feel free to contact me if you need further advice. Good Luck!! No matter what, you'll be alright in the end OK?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You need to talk to him and try to make him understand that u r being serious...

    If there is not any communication between u at all, maybe it's better to take a break from each other

    Just try to tell him how u feel about his attitud, if he seems like he doesn't care, maybe he doesn't love u as much as u do...

    Do whatever is in ur hands, but if this doesn't go anywhere, then break up with him

    It'll be the best for both of u

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that you two should have a serious talk..because I dont the exact time length you two have been together I dont know what else to tell you. You cant assume that he dont love you. I think that you should tell him what you told "us" (the yahoo answerers). That way you can see where this relationship is going. I wish you good luck and I hope I helped a little.. Now wipe your tears and get ready to be strong for the road ahead sweetie.

    (I saw the add on)

    He thinks its a joke?!! That just made me mad...Maybe you should take a break from him..thats kind of immature.

    Source(s): Oh geez its Me!!
  • OZoNE
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Well see thats probably your problem now you had a talk about separation thats the one mistake that everyone makes they also want to talk about or ask what if we were to break up or maybe we should separate those are questions that should be asked when there is a problem not as a hypothetical because then you get the other person thinking maybe you wanna leave them so what you need to do is sit down and really talk and make sure that he doesnt maybe want that separation and if he keeps joking and not taking it serious then tell him you are leaving and leave him cause obviosly its not important to him

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  • 1 decade ago

    nothing lasts forever. forget the whole saying ever lasting love. if you love him and you can't let go just stay.theirs no point in dumping him because if you still love him you'll just make a fool of yourself because you'll run right back to him. you have to stay until you can emotionally tell yourself 'I'm ready to go. then when heart doesn't feel the love anymore then you'll be able to leave without tears. depending on how long you've been together sometimes if you've already been through a lot with your mate it ends up being that your just use to your mate being around . you realize your not in love your just use to ur mate. so if it takes three weeks or three years stay till you feel inside that your fed up and you can't take anymore then you will for sure leave without thinking

    i hope that helps

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ask him how he exactly feels about your relationship and U. If it's something u don't want to hear, be the bigger person and except it, u know it's his loss. Yes it's hurtful, but it won't be as hurtful if u stick around with someone who will keep braking ur heart cuz they no longer feel for u. Take a brake, maybe u might be in for a surprise and realize u can survive without him, maybe he finds the opposite and would want to get back with u. It would be a waste of ur love if u give it someone who doesn't appreciate it.

  • 1 decade ago

    i went through the some of the same stuff a little bit of advice don't let beg to him. just let him no you do love him and don't want to lose him but do not beg him. that is what most of them want. im sure he does love you and does just have cold feet. they do that stuff don't know why but they think after they say they love you one time then 50 years from now you are still suppost to know that without them saying it. That is exactly what mine told me when i was going through what you are. He said if anything changes i will tell you. Don't know how long you have been with him but i'm sure it will work out. don't push him away. GOOD LUCK!! You will be fine, we are still 2gether after several years.

    Source(s): lots of experience
  • 1 decade ago

    You need not do anything , just allow the bird fly free , if it is your's will come back to you , if not , was not your's at all . This is the destiny , on which no one has any control . So just relax , concentrate on some healthy work , like your studies , hobby etc etc . Time will help you to get you really some charming prince .

  • 1 decade ago

    Well You dont nessaceraly have to be cheating to find interest in someone else....or for that matter "something" else...such as a view point changing or simply maybe he's ready to move on...

    It could also be you

    Just becasue you are the one noticing the diffrence doesnt mean that you arent the one who is DIFFRENT..if ya know what I mean

  • 1 decade ago

    Why do you say you loved each other deeply? Why would a week ago change your realtionship? Most guys rarely say they love you and just don't talk. Maybe it would be better to go your own ways and see how it goes.

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