How do I motivate this guy at work to ask me out? Nothing I do has worked without me getting agressive.?

I met this real nice guy at work. I wasn't looking for someone, but he just kinda grew on me. He would stop and talk to me where ever I was. We would go to breaks together too and even shared his home made tacos from home in the employee lounge. There was chemistry. I invited him to come to my town, but said he would have to find a place to stay. I guess he was clueless that I was really into him. We "IM'd" back and forth about dating. He seemed interested. I gave him the green light. But it just stopped there. He asked me to move in with him to share expenses. I said No. Then about a couple of weeks ago, he asked me to go to his cabin, which is still unfinished. Then later said I could come up when it was in better condition (being remodeled). Now he doesn't come around or send funny e-mails. He says his boss has been on his case. He has to work OT every Sat, as does everyone else.

Am I wishing for something that will never be? I think maybe he doesn't know what to do next?

Update:

Thanks everyone for your great advice. A couple fo you "guys" missed. I have only been working at this place for 3 months. He asked me to move in with after 2 months. He didn't even know me, nor I him. As far as the week in the cabin. I could not afford a week off of work. He is the one that asked me and then said there wasn't any modern conveniences there. Both of these were extreme for me being so new. I have leanred that his boss is really on his case. He loves to gab with evryone, and he just got busted again today. Most of you said for me to ask him out. I am going to do that and se what happens. Even if he only has Sunday off, you might as well have fun. Thanks everyone!

12 Answers

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  • jojo
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    just keep going with the flow on this 1 , he's into you . you guys are definitely going to get together he's just biding his time and taking it slow maybe because he wants to prolong the good part cause hes just strange like that . but i think when it happens its gonna be worth all the waiting , you know fire works, rockets that kinda thing . man i hope i'm right!

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, you shot down his cabin idea. I'd be pretty bummed if I asked someone to my cabin and they said no. The "I told him I could go when it's in better condition" sounds like your just trying to make him feel better.

    Not sure on what you can do without 'being aggressive'. hopefully someone else has a better answer.

  • 1 decade ago

    i know this is a bit harsh..but..maybe he's just not that into you anymore?? you turned him down a couple times and well..haven't given him any green lights since. so he's probably turned elsewhere..and may be avoiding you now? sigh. sucks. it is so tricky figuring out when is a time to ask the other person out before they lose interest. because if he really did like you...he would've asked you out by now. even if he's shy. its just the way it works. crappy..but that's life.

  • 1 decade ago

    It is very possible that he is working more. If you really want to know the deal though you're just gonna have to ask. Try asking him to go out to lunch or something simple. I know it's not traditional but sometimes females have to take the initiative.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I''m thinking that he thinks you turned him down by not going to his cabin. Ask him out on a date and see if he accepts. He's prolly just scared to ask you out again.

  • 1 decade ago

    i say YOU ask him out, i know for a fact men can be intimidated when it comes to that, make sure you dont do it around his guy friends cuz they WILL make fun of him, the worse thing that will happen is he says no, but then you will not keep wondering "what if"

  • 1 decade ago

    he probably feel that you are not interest in a relationship with

    him after the times he asked you out. if you really like him, why

    not just ask him out and see where it may go, you may have to

    make the move girlfriend.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Instead of waiting for him to ask you out..why don't you just ask him? Then you wouldn't be wondering about anything, you'd know!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Wow, could you be any more selfish. Quit always thinking of yourself. Why don't you motivate YOURSELF and ask him out YOURSELF. Jeez, some girls are just so clueless.

  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe you should try asking HIM out.

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