Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 decade ago

shold I marry him?

We have been engaged for three months. He is a good man and he loves me very much. Even though he is supportive and caring I just don't love him the way I should for being engaged. I am hoping that I will grow to love him. It is hard especially with my mom pressuring me because he has money. I just don't want to make the wrong choice.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    My answer - NO - definatley not until you are sure

    Do not settle for anything less than true love. You will not grow to love him, if anything , you would probably grow to resent him and your mother for pressuring you to do something you weren't ready for.

    You cannot create true love , if this were true love you would both be dying to marry one another (NOW !) - just like on your wedding night ( if you can wait that long ) when you first make love you will ache for him and once you are togther you will want to melt into him - literally breath his breaths. That is a feeling you cannot make up - it is REAL.

    I screwed up and lost my TRUE love and now I am in a failing marriage because I was pressured also and I thought I could create that same feeling with my husband . After 17 years and three children I can tell you that "settling" is not the way to go.

    Wait for the right guy - tell anybody who don't agree with you to "bite you". They wouldn't be the ones who would have to live day to day with Mr. I settled for this and now I'm miserable.

    Just take the time you need and if you decide that he is not the one then tell him.

    It may hurt him, but later he will be very glad that you were honest.

    "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered Prayers"

  • 1 decade ago

    What are your reasons for marrying him? how long have you been dating? If not him then who is thier someone else? What if you cancel the wedding and end up not finding anyone better? Is he a good person, personality wise... will he make a good husband... does he make you happy.... love is a CHOICE. The little things about that you enjoy or like will all add up. And you will love him. I know girls that got married because they "loved the guy" but everyone was telling these girls that they are in the limerance stage. remember love is blind. And when these girls got married after a few months they are crying and telling us why in the world did we let them get married. Love is different once your married. You have different responsibilities you have bills to pay a home to clean a meal to make.... don't marry him for the money (if that is the only reason you were attracted to him) but money will help in lots of ways... Good luck and God bless. I'm not married by the way i just turned 19.... but i have been watching friends and listening to elders.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    What are your causes for marrying him? how lengthy have you ever been relationship? If no longer him then who's thier somebody else? What in case you cancel the marriage and ultimately finally end up no longer searching all of us better functional? Is he an truly good guy or female, personality wise... will he make an truly good husband... does he make you satisfied.... love is a range. The little subject matters about that you're taking pride in or like will all upload up. and also you may adore him. i understand females that were given married by using reality they "loved the guy" yet actual each and every individual change into telling those females that they are interior the limerance element. keep in suggestions love is blind. And even as those females were given married after some months they're crying and telling us why interior the international did we enable them to get married. Love is distinct as immediately as your married. you've distinct commonplace jobs you've expenditures to pay a house to bathe a meal to make.... do no longer marry him for the money (if it is the only reason you've been fascinated in him) yet money may help in extremely some options... good fulfillment and God bless. i'm no longer married via procedures i only grew to change into 19.... yet I actually were watching acquaintances and listening to elders.

  • 1 decade ago

    You already know your answer and are just wanting confirmation from everyone else. You will get all kinds of answers but with what you have said you know you shouldn't get into a committed marriage relationship at this point in your relationship. Jitters and being a little uncertain is natural but you said you don't love him the way you should. Might you in the future? Who knows. Love takes time to develop and three months is not a long enough time to develop a lasting committed type love but it is long enough to know if you are growing closer or further apart in your heart and mind. You do though owe it to him to express your true feelings and doubts as hard as it is and knowing it will hurt. He deserves that honesty as well as you do. As far as your mom goes you have a loving mother that should and will understand but you also need to be honest and firm with her. Tell her you don't love him in the way or at the level she wishes you did and that you need time and that her comments and pressuring is only adding friction. Tell her that you have to make this decision yourself and that her comments are doing more to drive a wedge than it is helping you to clear your mind and allowing you to make your decisions. Good Luck but I know you already know what you should do it's just finding a way to do it without hurting everyone but to keep on going on pretending is making it worse as the longer you pretend the more it will hurt both you and him.

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  • vhat40
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    No. You should not marry him if you do not love him. Must be true to your heart. But you used the word " LOVE" in your sentence, when you said you don't love him the way you should. Sounds like you care about him a lot, but doubt if it is enough to get married over. Take time to punder over your feeling for him. Tell your mom that is it you that he wants to marry and not her, tell her to butt out so that you can really look and measure what you feel. You never know maybe you just have cool feet.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    DON'T DO IT! I almost made that mistake and I felt pressured too. If you don't love him that way, but he he supportive and caring, you will only break his heart later on. I guess the money may be tempting, but don't fall into this trap. you must be head over heal in-love with someone if you are making a life long decision like marriage.

  • 1 decade ago

    Those are not the right reasons at all to ever get married. Your mom should want you to love the person you marry that matters so much more then money does. Do not marry him marry the love of your life!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My advice is DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN!!!!!!!!

    Trust me money is not everything he is rich because he keeps the money.Remember this when they are persuing you they are at their best but when they marry you, even in this time of rapid divorce, they change and not for the better. Why do they change you might ask, because they have you and they don't have to be on their best behavior. Date him for as long as you can and you both will be happier. If you give in to their pressure make sure you get a pre-nump that protects you.

  • 1 decade ago

    There is an old saying, "Marry the first time for love, the second for money." This is your first, and your not in love, stay single, if things change 3,6,9 months from now and you really love him marry, but dont make a mistake to make mom happy.

  • 1 decade ago

    i will tell you a flat out no. if you don't love him and hope the love will grow later on, it want. there is always someone else out there you just have to have patience and being engaged for 3 months is not long enough to truly know someone like you should. please wait and trust your heart because they will come. if your mom is pressuring you because he has money tell her to go and marry him because money will not buy happiness. trust me i know.

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