Am I being foolish to believe my husband wants to work things out?
I posed a question last week. I was the one whose husband told me the day before our move to a new town that he wanted a divorce. It came out of the blue and completely caught me off guard. Well, he came over to our new house today (I have been staying here and he has been living in his dad's basement.) We talked for over 2 hours and I think things went well. He and I tried to come up with an amicable agreement surrounding the divorce. While I know I could get a lot more from him than what he is offering, the agreement doesn't seem too bad. I told him that if he wanted to stay in our new house this week he could. I am planning on heading to our old house to do some painting for my move back (He is covering my moving expenses.) I asked him if once we get the "living" situations straightened out, if we could try to work out our relationship. He agreed. He's been hot/cold lately, so I don't know what to believe. Is he just telling me this so I don't take him to the cleaners?
Just to clarify...I agreed to move back to our old house and he is going to live in our new house (2 hourse away.) But he said he doesn't want the divorce immediately, and that there's a chance we could work it out. My sister thinks he's just playing nice b/c he knows how much I could get. I can't imagine him being that vindictive, but then again, I never thought he's leave me either.
- >>>>>>>Lv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
sometimes its hard for a guy to explain, this is my recent experience
butttttt, you should hear him out, determine his sencerity and make the best choice for yourself but you owe him enough to listen to him. Its hard, i open my heart to my ex and she didn't even hear me out after all i've done and been with her. Don't do the same because that sucks. Be an adult and listen, doesn't mean your accepting him back.Source(s): my heart
- 1 decade ago
First of all, did he give you any reason for wanting a divorce? There is something damaged in the relationship that will have to be fixed to get back together. Is he going thru a midlife crisis? Seeing someone else? Whatever the reason may be, counseling is a must to work it out. And yes your sister may be right. He could be doing just that. Ask yourself, after this brutal surprise he pulled on you, do you know him as well as you thought you did?Source(s): personal experience
- 1 decade ago
Yes, he is sucking up until the divorce is final, and he gets what he wants out of it.
Then he will no longer want to work it out, and he will suddenly have a new girlfriend.
Be nice, settle things if you can, make the divorce to smooth. Get the things you want, but don't take things just for spite.
Take the high road and don't expect anything from him in return, that way you won't be surprised or disappointed, and can feel better about yourself when he shows his true colors.
I've seen it happen many times among friends that were going thru divorces.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It's not wise to take his words at face value. Just when you think someone won't screw you over, they sure will. When it comes right down to it, he's going to look after Number One. Hire yourself an attorney and let him/her handle your hubby.
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- 1 decade ago
nobody here can answer this for you. You are the only one who can really answer it. You know him best and you know yourself best - somewhere inside you know, work to figure it out one way or another. You'll get there.