when is the best time to talk to your child about sex and how do u explain it to them?
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I talk to my kids about sex and drugs every chase I get . You talk then you remind them . I've told my daughter she ever thinks at she pg to tell me so we can go see and take care of the baby , the first month are the most important . I want her to finish school and get a degree before she thinks about kids . but she knows I'm here if she ever needs to talk
- old ladyLv 71 decade ago
The best time is before you think they're ready. And that's not meant to be funny. Too often parents wait until the children are in their teens, by which time the kids already know all the wrong things about sex and are embarassed at the idea of talking with you about it.
Instead of having 'the talk' with your kids, start explaining about sex, in very simple terms and not in great detail, from the first time they start asking questions in that area.
Often it's when they see a pregnant woman in the store. "Why does that lady have such a big tummy?" That's when you explain that there is a baby growing in there, and pretty soon she'll have a little boy or girl of her very own, and she'll be a lucky mom, just like you are.
Later, your child will want to know how the baby gets in there. That's when you explain the role of the father. "It takes two people who love each other to make a baby. The daddy puts the seed into the mommy, and then it begins to grow into a baby."
You'll find, if you listen to the questions your child asks, that there is a lot of curiosity at a relatively early age. Instead of hushing them, or changing the subject, give them a short, matter of fact answer, always with the promise that 'we can talk about that more later on.'
There are some excellent books on the subject, if you need a little help in getting started. Check out your local library. Some even have pictures suitable to show young children.
Hope this is of help to you.
- 1 decade ago
Sorry, Im not a parent. But I have somewhat of an educated opinion on this. Children often begin to ask about where babies come from and the differences between men and women around the age of 4-5, and by the time they are 6-8 they will have heard the word "sex" from other kids at school, it doesnt matter how private the shcool is. I think it is best to give them an easy to understand version of what sex is, as early as 6 or 7, because otherwise they will get wrong information from their friends, also by the time children are 9-11 (especially boys) will start getting VERY curious about kissing, sex, masturbation, relationships. And they will ask whoever they can for information about this kind of stuff, unfortunately it is always people OTHER than there parents.
Children are faced with these issues ALOT earlier than parents want to believe. So its best to handle these issues early on, they may not understand it all right away, so you should continue to give them more and more information as they get older, but they should know about the dangers of sexual activity from a very early age.
- 1 decade ago
First off...Dont teach them that sex is a "Bad" thing. That will cause meantal scarring in thier future(especially if theyre female) But do teach them that Bad things can be the consequence if they are not physically, meantally, religiously, and financially ready. Teach them that it is a Beautiful but very SACRED thing. BE A parent if they are young and a Friend if they are a little older. (it will keep them in open communications with you if you talk and dont Harp. I can tell you fact. Kids I knew were giving oral sex starting in 6th or 7th grade is a great time to discuss it because they are being taught it in Health class and are actually "feeling things" hormonally at the same time. If your kid is or is thinking of having sex....Give them a mental shock...Have them sit down and watch a live video of a very painful birth, or show them a slide show of pictures with STDS. Also...my suggestion is to have father talk to son and Mother talk to daughter cuz other wise they will feel too uncomfortable and especially embarrassed to even want to listen. And definately do it when they are not busy or upset with you. Another tip is ...have them watch and be responsible for a family members or friends baby for an hour or more. Diapers crying, entertaining and all! If they don't want to talk to you make sure there is someone like a "cool" cousin or aunt, or sibling theyd have willingness to chat with.
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- twisteddistanceLv 41 decade ago
I say that you start young. Not just talking about sex but sex related things such as the correct anatomical names of body parts. Don't make up names and shy away from the truth. Your children need to learn to be comfortable with you from the very begining.
When the "where do babies come from" subject comes up. Don't make up anything about a seed getting planted and crap. Tell the truth (not the grafic truth) about how a mommy and a daddy get together and make a beautiful perfect human being. There are great books on this at the library and movies as well.
Girls need to lear early about what a period is and what to expect. Girls are starting periods younger and younger and they need to be prepared. Not only do girls need to be rpepared but boys need to learn about erections and ejectulatuion. My husband told me when he had his first erection that he was scared because his parents never talked to him about sex. I thought that was very sad.
When the real sex talk come. Around 13 or so or right before middle school. Thats whn you will have to explain condoms, STD's, pregnancy, masturbation, and sex. It's a very diffucult subject but thats why you start early with an open mind. They have great books on this at the library too. It lays the path for a close parent/child relationship and openness about sex. This can be great because your children wont feel scared to come to you with they have problems, need birth control, or have questions.
This may be a little progressive for you but it's better for your children to learn about sex from an adult because they will learn the true facts - good and bad. If not they may learn about sex on the way to school on the bus, on TV, or by an older child at school.
Good luck with the sex talk. My advice is to practice what you are going to say before the time comes. You could also keep a note card handy so you can make sure to cover everything.
*the spell checker wasn't working when I got finished typing this so please just ignore the typos. Thanks!Source(s): Early Childhood Education Degree and a I'm a young (22) mother as well so I remember what it was like to be a teen. My Mom approached sex like this and this is how I am going to appraoch the subject with my child.
- cricketLv 41 decade ago
From day 1. Don't use cutesy names for body parts, use the correct medical term. Just because your child asks a question doesn't mean you have to give a dissertation on the subject, give a short age appropriate answer. Ask them what they really want to know and why? ( Well Tammy said if you take a bath with your baby brother you can have a baby, and other things kids believe)Their questions may surprise you. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to answer. If you don't know how to answer find a website designed for children. Children need appropriate and responsible knowledge. A child with knowledge can then make informed choices and will not fall prey to myth.
- 1 decade ago
The best time to talk to your children about sex is when you notice them geting an interest in the oppisite sex. For I was only 14 when I became pregnant and now I am 18 and still raising a child on my own
- 1 decade ago
You need to start when the are little when they start asking the "where do babies come from" types of questions and even before by teaching them the correct names of body parts. I used books to help when they were younger, it was a good approach that worked well. I have always been open with my children, the oldest are now 11(girl) & 14(boy), the 2 youngest are 2(both boys). When I was pregnate with my twins we had some great discussion as a family about sex & pregnancy. We watched "In the Womb" a National Geographic movie together- Check out the link. It was very interestind for us all. They know they can ask me anything and they do!!
- 1 decade ago
I remember my mom talking to me about the menstrual cycle when I was 6 or 7 years old. I was so grateful later when sex ed didn't come in school until after my period started. My daughter is now five and inquisitive. I've given her the gist of what a period is. If they ask it's the best time to talk about it. I recommend starting with puberty and the new feelings they have toward the opposite sex and then discuss sex.
- 1 decade ago
See I have the same question. I have a ten year old daughter and a 8year old daughter. Both of them already talks about certain things about sex. They told me that they learned it from school, but a lot of it is curiousity, we have lived on a ranch and they have asked,"What is Chester (the white chested boar) doing to that girl pig?" They heard it from other adults. I don't think that's a good idea. Plus they got to know good touch and bad touch, kids can put two and two together, so we got to be careful what we say and do. But I have asked my girls' doctor when it is safe to talk about it, and they told me its best when they got questions about it. Answer them honestly. Then explain it slowly what can happen and what might not happen. I just hope and pray that curiousity doesn't get the best of them and they want to know what it feels like.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It seems children learn those things younger and younger these days!
I would say when they become interested or ask about those things!
You may even want to ask your child if they have heard anything at school and have any questions!
I think it is so important that parents talk to their children about sex and their bodies! If you don't, who will? I asked the question on here for teens what they learned in Sex Ed! They answered they only learned about the physical side of sex! Not the std, pregnancies or emotional side effects that can occur! They need someone who loves them to talk to them! If you don't someone who just wants to get into their pants will! It's sad how little children these days know about sex, AND that 'some' parents are too embarrassed to talk to their children about it!
I honestly would rather embarrass myself in front of my kids instead of them not knowing anything, getting pregnant or sick!
I would honestly tell them how it is! Make sure they know the proper terminology for all their body parts and body parts of the opposite sex! They may find it gross, but its a part of life. Explain to them (If they are too young to hear about sex) that NO ONE is to touch them in those private areas! NO ONE! Even mommy and daddy do not have the right to touch their children there unless it's bath time, or they need help! Otherwise it's abuse and it's wrong and they need to inform you imediately!
When it comes to sex, tell them how it is! and use the proper terms for body parts!
Explain to them the emotional side of sex and what can happen! Pregnancy, Std's and such!
I hope this helped! Kudos to you for caring enough about your child to not just leave it to the public school system to teach them!