My widowed, elderly dad is depressed - I don't know what to do.?

My dad is 65 - my mom died 15 years ago. While my siblings and I all have our moments, my dad is clearly depressed. He's always had depression, severe insecurity, but losing my mom just put him over the top. He complains about everything, backbites about my sisters in-laws (all good people). He can... show more My dad is 65 - my mom died 15 years ago. While my siblings and I all have our moments, my dad is clearly depressed. He's always had depression, severe insecurity, but losing my mom just put him over the top.

He complains about everything, backbites about my sisters in-laws (all good people). He can sometimes get quite angry and emotionally abusive, articulating that he's the best father in the world, despite having a history of emotional and physical abuse when we were kids. He has his good moments (10% of the time) where he can be funny and nice, but is mostly growing into a bitter old man, pushing people away from him, with no friends, and family that cannot stand to be around him.

I've suggested therapy (numerous times) but my dad will say "a therapist should go to me, because I can help *them*. The way I see it, putting other people down makes him feel better about himself - a self he feels unhappy about.

He's alone, and I wish I could help him - but don't know what to do.
Update: His depression extends far back to his childhood, as a child of war. Things which I cannot even try to understand, hence we all wish he would see a therapist to see where his anger and depression comes from. Also, medication is out of the question. He won't even take an advil or tylenol - he doesn't... show more His depression extends far back to his childhood, as a child of war. Things which I cannot even try to understand, hence we all wish he would see a therapist to see where his anger and depression comes from.

Also, medication is out of the question. He won't even take an advil or tylenol - he doesn't believe in medication, and is generally distrustful of doctors.
Update 2: He doesn't drink alcohol, or any other self-medicating drugs - his problems are purely in his mind, and from experiences. As for dating - he's 65, and he thinks he's so darn good, he won't be interested in anyone over 40. I'd be happy to see him re-marry, it doesn't bother me at all.... show more He doesn't drink alcohol, or any other self-medicating drugs - his problems are purely in his mind, and from experiences.

As for dating - he's 65, and he thinks he's so darn good, he won't be interested in anyone over 40. I'd be happy to see him re-marry, it doesn't bother me at all. Perhaps this is my own stubbornness, but I am not willing to set him up with a woman under 40, at his age.
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