I am interested in a man who has been hurt pretty badly before?

I am 22 years old. I met this guy (33) in my class about a year ago. We started hanging out about two or three months ago, and now we talk almost every day and see each other like twice a week. We have a lot of things in common and I have never met anyone like him. I feel like I can't help but love him. He says that he feels strongly about me, too, but that he can't love anyone right now because of bad relationships in the past. He was engaged a little over a year ago and the %$!@$ cheated on him and then said she never loved him, so now he is afraid of women and says that he can't be in a relationship. I am a good girl, I don't drink and party or get around and am SO not that girl, and he says he knows that and that it's not about me. I really want him to give me a chance. Any advice out there?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    now listen, take it from me, I was hurt pretty much like he was. The only difference is that she left me with our two kids, so if you love him like you claim, just try to be his friend, support him, & most specially of all, if he needs that little space to be alone, trust him!!!

    Just be patient. Good things happen to those who are patient!

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Well, let me ask you this. If he were not wounded and were totally into you, would you still want him as much? Have you been attracted to men who were still not over another woman before? Are you the type of woman who is always trying to help, love and heal wounded men or unlock men who have secrets? Is this is you, I would recommend you back away from him and try to develope a better relationship with yourself, possibly with a therapist. If this is usually your pattern in relationships, trying to win a man's trust and love, things will probably go badly for you and I'm sure things will be quite nasty in the end. As much as you feel in love with him today, you would feel that much pain in the end that it would be too much for you and you might wish you never met him.

    Good luck.

  • Paige
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    We have all been hurt... and it's always hard to get over relationships I know. Sounds simply that he doesn't care for you as much as you care for him. Give it a little breather...tell him how you feel and that if he wishes to pursue you...great! Otherwise I would make myself available for other opportunities. Good Luck Girl!

  • 1 decade ago

    give him time, but continue to be his friend. However, do not wait around at home . Go out with others, do other things, stay busy. Plus, he will not feel as pressured and you will not feel as desperate. Believe what he says and leave it at that. He may change his mind , but then again, he may not "be that into you"..

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  • 1 decade ago

    That %$!@$ shes a witch. Let him have time he was in a serious relationship I was pissed for a month just because of a no hell take a while Get closer to him SLOWLY hell get over it then hell like you because you were getting closer. Hope it works remember give him time.

  • 1 decade ago

    Never give him a reason to doubt you... but you just have to let him take his time.... and let him know that you will be there for him and you want to make something out of what yall have. he's going to need a lot of reassurance and if you really love him then you will probally have to wait a LONG while... but just be there for him

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just give him time. You wouldn't want him saying he loved you and committing to you when still carrying around the hurt from another girl. When he is ready maybe you will still be around and it would be great. You don't want to be someone's rebound.

  • 1 decade ago

    You have to give him time to heal. Follow his lead; unfortunately, it could take about a year or more. Patience is the key. Continue to be who you are, but you have to have it set in your mind how long it can stay still.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Stop trying so hard to get with him and just be a friend. Let him learn to like and trust you as a friend, and maybe his heart will open up to you for more.

  • sweet
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Honey he told you straight out..."he can't be in a relationship now""...if it were me..I'd just say OK>>>>and move on out of there...You could be dead when he makes up his mind to give you a CHANCE>>>>>let him be. honest answer...and i am sorry.

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