Is my step daughter beyond help???
Ive been married for 8 yrs and my husbands daughter is 15. Shes a juvenile delinquent (by the court) and she is a habitual liar. Shes seen COUNTLESS "professionals" in which she has pretty much told us they believe everything she says (manipulated) and shes gone as far as to accuse her father AND her step father of molesting her in which she rancanted months later, she comes to our house and talks bad about her mother and then goes to her mothers and talks bad about her father and I. We've tried everything (been in the juvy twice, counseling, ect ect) and we are at our wits end. When she gets mad at her dad, she dont come over, she dont talk to him and her mom believes every bad thing she says about us but the girls is just a liar when we tell her what the child had said about her..... anyway-- does anybody know what else we can possibly do???
- bridetobebrandieLv 41 decade agoBest Answer
Since you two have done everything you've possibly can as good parents, you need to send her to a real bootcamp.
She's getting the easy way out by going and sitting on her butt in an airconditioned office toying with people's minds.
It's all a game to her and she is still winning. If you don't help her it will never change. She will grow up and do this to her boyfriends and husbands and friends...she'll be a user.
Go to Dr. Phil.com and see if you can find something about teen bootcamps because she'll get the point then. I see she's been to juvy but it was probibly a breeze for her since she's been twice. She knows the town, she knows how the things work. Get her away from home, put her in a new enviroment with people that simple are not going to put up with her sh*t. No more talking, no more examining her feelings, get real with the problem. She doesn't see anything as a punishment and I'll be damned if she is going to start something that could land your husband in jail. It will only get worse.
- 1 decade ago
She obviously is dealing with some major issues. I don't believe anyone is beyond help, it is just a matter of finding what will work for them. She is a teenager, so her hormones are raging. Her diet is probably not what it should be which can increase the erratic behavior. If regular counseling is not getting through to her you might see about alternative therapies. My step son has made great progress with a change in diet, EEG Biofeedback, EFT and Reiki. There may be a time you have to "give up" on her, but for your own peace of mind, make sure you check into every available option out there before you do.
- someoneLv 41 decade ago
have you tried just sitting her down telling her how special she is to you and her dad
and then asking her why she does this ?
oh and tell her you will not get angry no matter what the answer is and then don't
Just do not say anything at all no matter what she says or how you feel about it
this is the hard part listening without giving her a reaction which is what it sounds like she is looking for
another suggestion when she starts bad mouthing
her mother tell her your sorry she is unhappy with her mom but she should talk with her mom about it
and then talk about other things with her if you do not allow her to bad mouth her mother or anyone in your home maybe she will realize she needs to find a new way to get your attention
Which is what she wants is attention
she gets it by getting in trouble and causing trouble
- 1 decade ago
She is apparently adept at manipulating her mother/stepfather and her father/stepmother and playing them all against each other. It sounds like the four adults in the scenario need to get together; put egos, hurt feelings and blame-placing on hold; and agree upon a consistent method of dealing with the teenager's maniuplative nature and poor behavior. She may require closer supervision both when she is at her mother's house and at her father's house (remember: the rules need to be the same). She may need to be evaluated both for drug use and mental health issues as well.
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- 1 decade ago
as hard as this is to hear there is NOTHING you can do.
the good news is you were just describing me as a teen
i am ashamed to say. and i got completely through it.
i am more level headed and well rounded than my own mother
now. i was a little lying ,stealing, pot smoking,sex having delinquent. i am 27 now and don't do drugs don't drink
i don't lie i don't steel i do smoke cigs but that's the worst thing i do now. i like to think i got through all the bad stuff when i was young. and now I'm still pretty young and can have a good life.
the point is as hard as it is to believe now she will get to the other side of the and be the kind of person you will enjoy to be around.
i promise . until then don't take her ****. she will respect you for it in the long run..good luck and god bless you and her>>>
- ?Lv 61 decade ago
honey come out of the cloud even the biggest lier tell the truth some time and those that she accuse of molestion dont put them on a high shelf they know no one will believe her that is why it would be so easy to get away take her to a dr to see if she hsa been sexually active someone needs to be a friend to her love her and for the love of the lord put GOD in your family
- notyou311Lv 71 decade ago
If she doesn't want to come over, that should be fine with you. Your lives are better off without her. She must have a mental problem. Just give her the silent treatment if she gives you a hard time. She won't be able to take that and there's nothing she can do about it.
- 1 decade ago
the only thing to do is to keep her on lockdown when shes not in juvi-keep a close eye on her, and lay out the rules or else she will be out on the streets for good Tough Love
stick by your words.
- 1 decade ago
try to talk to her and try looking at it her way. and make sure you did not do any thing wrong.
try takeing a few weeks off professionals and court and jail.do not say any thing about those things and just have fun mayybe she is just sick of all those thing and just take a break from it all. Try it I think it will work!
- Kay_ZooLv 41 decade ago
Since a child can "divorce" themself from their parents, wouldn't it be a good solution to "divorce" yourself from this kid? She needs to be in boot camp...she knows how to "work the system," and if she isn't stopped, she will continue to do so. Good luck!