我想請英文達人幫我訂正英文...謝謝

因為我的英文不太好...作文文法很差...可以幫我修改一下嗎...拜託了

In some countries, teenagers and young adults have jobs while they are still students. I think its good idea. I have the experiences of the part-time jobs. The first motive was that I would like to learn more knowledge that the school didn’t teach. The part-time job males me become busy, my time is not just watching TV and sleeping. You can find out your interest when you’re working. It could help you to find work in the future.

Before I went to work, I was pampered since childhood. I didn’t understand the manner when I am talking to someone. If you get bad mood, you couldn’t argue with the customers. They are symbol the money. In case of offending the customers, they wouldn’t buy your stuff anymore because they don’t want to endure your bad temper. During the process of working, once you got the setback do this thing, one day my mom told me that I should to overcome the setback, because it was a key to achieve success. Many successful enterprisers, they aren’t get success at first time, they never give up and continuously to solve the setbacks and then got success. You’ll be cheerful when you receive the salary. You can save the money in the bank or you can spend the money to buy whatever you want. Every month when I receive the salary, I always forget the tiredness and start to plan how to use the money.

You can spend the money by yourself was a cheerful thing because it show you don’t need to depend on your parents.

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    In some countries, teenagers and young adults have part-time jobs while they are still students. I think its a good way. I have part time working experiences. The first motive is I would like to learn more knowledge which school didn't teach. The part-time job made me busy, and my time was not wasted on watching TV and sleeping. Besides, you may find out your interest when you’re working. It could help you to find out your working orientation in the future.

    Before I went to work, I was a spoiled child. I didn’t understand the manner when I am talking to someone. You couldn’t argue with customers even if you are in bad mood. They are symbol of incoming. In case of offending the customers, they wouldn’t buy your stuff any more because they don’t want to endure your bad temper. During my part-time working period, once I had a bad setback. One day, my mom told me that I should overcome it, because it is key to succeed. Many successful enterprisers fail at first time, however, they never give up and insistently overcome setbacks(原"不斷的解決挫折"有點怪怪的,改成"堅定地戰勝挫折") and they succeeded eventually. You’ll be cheerful when you get paid. You can deposit your wage in bank or you can spend it to buy whatever you want. Every month when I receive the salary, I always forget my tiredness and plan to use my money well.

    If you can spend money on your own, it would be a cheerful thing because it means you don’t need to depend on your parents.

    簡單的修正-讓文章較通順一些啦,不對的地方也不吝指教嘍

    Source(s): me
  • 1 decade ago

    Country is at some, youth and young adult have job till them is still student. I think its wrinkle. I am experienced half day job. The 1st motivation be me can like studying school didn's some more knowledge "T teaches. Half day job man I am matchable busy, my time is do still not watch TV and sleeping. You can find out your interest "Rhenium job. It can help you discover job aftertime.

    Childhood before I go to job, I am connived since. My didn "T know me is chiding somebody politeness. Should you acquires bad mood, your couldn "T argue with somebody on customer. They are symbolism money. Like have offend customer, their wouldn "T buys your material because they put on again "T wants to bear your bad tough degree. This is procedural job during, once you acquire this setback make this thing, someday my mother tell me that I should go to overcome this setback, because it is a hinge acquire success. Is many successful enterpriser, their aren "T acquires success at first time, they have never gone upward and to settle setback and obtain success continuously. You "Ll is happy you receive salary time. You can save money in the bank operating room you can spend money go to buy no matter what you want. My every month receives salary, I always forget tiredness and start going plan how to use money.

    You can spend money be happy thing because it show your Mr. alone "T need to depend on your parent. .

  • 1 decade ago

    In some countries, teenagers and young adults have jobs while they are still students. I think its ( a ) good idea (because) I (had) the experiences of (many) part-time jobs. The (first motivation was to learn more education that many public schools did not teach. )( Part-time jobs occupy most of my time during one single day so I wont just waste my time watching TV and sleeping.) (While working, it is easier to find and search for a real career that you can pursue that may lead to a better future.)

    Before (I started to) work, I was pampered since childhood. I (did not) understand the (proper language or attitude to work in society.) For example, if you were in a bad mood, you (must not) argue with any customers or employers. (They are the guest that keep up our business, which we cannot risk of to blow up our temper with.) (In a case of offending a customer it may lead to them not purchasing the item due to your short temper.) (During the process of working, once you got the setback to do this thing than you can do anything. So one day my mom told me that I should overcome the setback, because it was a key to achieve success. Many successful enterprisers, did not achieve their success on the first try. They never gave up and continuously battled against the failures until the succed in their goal. There are also many awards to all these hardships in life, like your huge amount of salary. You can save the money in the bank or you can spend the money to buy whatever you want. Every month when I receive the salary, I tend to forget the tiredness and hardship as I start to plan out a better use of this money.

    Using all this money for yourself and family can show your peers that you are an independent person that does not need a person to rely on. Thus, all of this makes you stronger. )

    Source(s): 自己
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