Faith asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請幫忙修改英文推薦信

請大家幫忙看看有什麼需要修改的地方,謝謝!

To whom it may concern,

It is a pleasure for me to recommend Miss Pey-Ru Her, a former student of mine, for postgraduate study at your school.

During the academic year of 2004, Pey-Ru took my course, Financial Management. I found that she was a hard-working student with a strong desire for knowledge. Financial Management is not an easy course. Students are expected to have analytical skill and mathematical logic. She impressed me deeply with her capability for her critical and logical thinking. Pey-Ru always pays her whole attention during the class, revealing her own manner of thinking; as well as raising critical questions. She also shows me her enthusiasm of studying by never absent any class. In the end of semester, I gave her the high grad of 90 out of 100 for this course.

While most of her classmates are looking for future jobs, Pey-Ru told me she would like to study aboard to increase her international view and observation. Based on Ms. Pey-ru Her’s performance in school, I believe she will be a highly successful student at your school. I support her application for admission without reservation, and would appreciate any assistance you can offer her.

2 Answers

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  • c-
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    我覺得寫的不錯啊唯一需要稍微修改的地方是:『Pey-Ru always pays her whole attention during the class, revealing her

    own manner of thinking; as well as raising critical questions. She also

    shows me her enthusiasm of studying by never absent any class.』整封信在提到上課的事時,都是用過去式,但這一段卻沒有.. 所以這一段也該修改成過去式還有 "In the

    end of semester" 應該改成 "at the end""the high grad of 90" 拼錯了,應該是 "grade"對了,我會認為在最後一段『Pey-Ru told me she would like to study aboard to increase her international view and observation』的部份,要出國讀書的理由有點不夠充分。或許應該提到類似 "although what she has learned in college is sufficient for her to secure good employments immediately, but being as ambitious as pey-ru is, she informed me that she would like to pursue further education in the field of xxxxx, in order to better prepare herself for greater challenges..." 這樣的話。希望這樣有稍微幫到你一點忙~

    Source(s): me+
  • 1 decade ago

    上面那位大大說的很好,不過我也有一點個人建議啦!

    It is my pleasure to recommend Miss Pey-Ru Her, one of my former students, to be a candidate of your postgraduate. →都用"my"來說,會比較~~~個人一點,美國人比較喜歡看到個人想法,我用candidate是比較口語一點!

    During the academic year of 2004, Pey-Ru took my Financial Management course. She was ~~~,去掉I think 不然感覺很中文!

    Students are expected to have analytical "skills" 技巧應該不只一個吧!

    She impressed me deeply → She made me a deep impression of her ~~~

    Pei-Ru Pays attention~~~, revealing ~~~,; as well as~~~感覺出妳的revealing ~~想用分詞構句,但妳後面用;as well as~~就沒有做到平行對襯,個人會建議妳,不要出錯最好用最簡單的!, revealed ~~~, and ~~~

    She also expressed her study enthusiasm in both participation and attendance in my class.

    Based on Ms. Her's ~~~

    大致上是降啦!加油吧!

    Source(s): 我的小腦袋瓜還有個人經驗
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