請幫忙檢查我的英文作文 -- 關於環境污染

我的英文很差,

可能連小學的程度都不到...

所以錯誤很多,

希望各位可以幫我大致檢查一下,

看看哪些文法是錯得很嚴重的...

是我必須注意的呢?

Cause and Effect Essay of Pollution

There are many kinds of pollution in the world. What is pollution? Pollution is contamination, a substance or thing that pollutes our environment. Pollution can make living things ill and let them die. So pollution is bad. You can see some kinds of pollution such as garbages and wasted bottles, but some pollutions are invisible such as noise and dirty air.

Dirty air is one of the major pollution in the world. We called it air pollution. Air pollution usually causes by smoking, cars, buses, factories and planes. They’re both making dirty air. Air pollution makes people have trouble breathing such as asthma and other cancers. It also makes oxygen lacking but more and more carbon dioxide, the same result as CO2. CO2 can destroy the ozone. Now the ozone is disrupting, the whole atmosphere has many problems. For example is global warming. Global warming makes the temperature higher and higher each year. Air pollution also causes acid rain, it lets many plants die.

Update:

Water can be a kind of pollution. Wasted oils, garbages and factories make the water pollution. Polluted water produces bacterias and impels them to grow. If a fish eats bacterias in the water, it’ll ill easily. Humans may eat the ill fish of the dirty water.

Update 2:

Then many living things die. Water pollution effects not only unhealthy but also exteriorly. Polluted water cannot be rarely anymore. Water pollution causes the water has badly smell even strange color.

Update 3:

So people cannot drink water directly and do fishing for the dirty water. Water pollution affects our life seriously.

Soil pollution is approaching to the river… Yes. Soil pollution is absolutely making the water foul. Who does it work? Landfill does.

Update 4:

A landfill is a place of storing wasted objects and garbages. Our tap-water is flowing near the underground of landfill. If the landfill pollutes the soil, and then contaminates the water, it will become muddy and turbid.

Update 5:

Afterwards, the water pollution formed. This is one way for making the soil and the water uncleanly. People did not want those things engender, but we don’t have choice. If we don’t need landfills, where can we accumulate garbages? The question is still unsolved.

Update 6:

The most important things we have to do, is avoiding these pollutions happen and solving them accurately. If your friends smoke, please tell them to stop for their body health and the air pollution. You may go to work on foot, by bike or by subway instead for cars and buses.

Update 7:

Cultivates some plants surround you; they can make oxygen and decorate your house. These ways are the best for decline of dirty air.

Update 8:

沒想到這麼多...Orz

我應該贈20點的...

那麼請各位先看到這裡就可以了...

我很抱歉...

Update 9:

喔喔!

謝謝老師啊~

我知道我的錯誤真的很多很多...

真是太麻煩您了!!

1 Answer

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Dirty air is one of the major pollution in the world改為 pollutions才對

    Air pollution usually causes by smoking --> is caused by 改被動

    Now the ozone is disrupting, the whole atmosphere has many problems (用and連接)

    Air pollution also causes acid rain, it lets many plants die. (用and 連接)

    Humans may eat the ill fish of the dirty water.---> from the dirty water

    Water pollution causes the water has badly smell even strange color.

    --> Water pollution makes the rivers smell and look strange.

    Soil pollution is approaching to the river… Yes

    請用and 做連接,文章不可使用口語

    wasted objects and garbages. --> wasted substances and garbages.

    The most important things we have to do, is avoiding --> The most important thing (用單數)

    is avoiding these pollutions happen --->把happen 拿掉更通順

    Cultivates some plants surround you; they can make oxygen and decorate your house. These ways are the best for decline of dirty air.

    改為: To cultivate soem plants surrounging you and they make oxygen and decorate your house. The ways mentioned are the best for declining of dirty air.

    寫的不錯喲 ^O^ 加油!!

    Source(s): 本身是英文老師
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