有一點文法上的問題,我看不出來哪裡錯,請大家幫忙一下

Today the success of 7-Eleven is well-known. It was a small ice store in the U.S.A before at has change into a diversified store now. They have evolved for a long time. The Development of convenience stores has made people’s lives more and more convenient. If you walk on a street you will find there are about 4 convenience stores on it. Not only 7-Eleven convenience stores, but also other convenience stores such as Family Mart, Hi-life and Niko Mart. In view of in competition why is 7-Eleven so successful?

中文大概是

今天7-11的成功是大家都知道的,從一開始只是一家小小的冰塊店變成了知名的聯鎖店,這之中經過了很長的時間,便利商店的出現使人們的生活越來越方便,走在一條街上就可以看到搭約4間的便利商店,不只7-11還有全家,萊爾富,福克多,在這激烈的競爭當中,為什麼7-11還可以這麼成功ㄋ?

老師說我ㄉ文法不好,可是我看不出哪裡有錯,請各位大大幫忙看一下

告訴我哪一句有錯或是不通順就可以嚕,如果可以幫我改一下最好嚕,謝謝

3 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Today the success of 7-11 is well-known.

    Before having changed into a famous convenient store, it was just a small ice store in America. (has之後應該要接過去分詞)

    During this long time, the appearance of convenient stores made the life of people more convenient than before. (經歷很長的時間可以不用寫成一句,這樣就不會覺得太攏長。live是生命和life不太一樣。more and more這個用法好像外國不懂,這是我朋友和我說的,所以改成more than可以試試看這種寫法。)

    Walking on the street, you will find out there are about four convenient stores on it. (因為子句和主要句的主詞一樣所以可以省略子句的主詞,然後把動詞改一下。find out是一個片語 不可以分開。)

    It has not only 7-11 but also other kinds of stores such as Family Mart, Hi-life and Niko Mart. Under such a fierce competition, why can 7-11 be so successful? (鉅子一定要有主詞動詞喔,原本的句子裡沒有主詞動詞)

    希望這樣可以幫助你一點

    Source(s):
  • 1 decade ago

    我試試看囉。參考就好^^

    Today the success of 7-Eleven is well-known. It was once a small ice store in the U.S.A and now has changed into a famed chain-store . They have evolved for a long time. The development of convenience stores has made people's lives more and more convenient. Walk on almost any streets in the cities of Taiwan, you can find about 4 convenience stores on it. Not only 7-Eleven, but also other convenience stores such as Family Mart, Hi-life and Niko Mart play in the business competition. For what season that makes 7-Eleven so successful?

    2006-04-05 22:11:23 補充:

    降才對^^Walking on almost any streets in the cities of Taiwan, you can find about 4 convenience stores on it

    2006-04-05 22:12:23 補充:

    再改一次Walk on almost any streets in the cities of Taiwan, you can find about 4 convenience stores on them

    Source(s): 我自己
  • 1 decade ago

    Today the success of 7-Eleven is well-known. It was a small ice store in U.S.A before and it has change into diversified stores now. They have evolved for a long time. The appearance of convenience stores has made people’s lives more and more convenient. When you walk on a street, you will find that there are about 4 convenience stores on the street. Not only 7-Eleven convenience stores, but also other convenience stores such as Family Mart, Hi-life and Niko Mart. Why is 7-Eleven so successful in this fierce competition?

    今天7-11的成功是大家都知道的,從一開始只是一家小小的冰塊店變成了知名的聯鎖店,這之中經過了很長的時間,便利商店的出現使人們的生活越來越方便,走在一條街上就可以看到搭約4間的便利商店,不只7-11還有全家,萊爾富,福克多,在這激烈的競爭當中,為什麼7-11還可以這麼成功ㄋ?

    我好像幾乎都沒改耶,英文程度也不好...(汗)

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