erica asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

各位英文高手照過來~~幫我檢查一下有沒有錯好不好?總覺得怪怪

如題

我自己看是覺得怪怪的,但又不確定...

搞不好是我疑心病太重...

AN AMAZING COMPUTER

A man complained to his friends, \"My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.\" His friend offered,\" \"Don\'t do that!!! There\'s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.00.\" The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.The computer started making some noises and the various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: *You have tennis elbow*Soak your arm in warm water*Avoid heavy labor*It will be better in two weeks Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science, he begin to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine sample from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store and deposited the $10.The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis: *Your tape faucet is too hard*Get a water softener*Your dog has worms*Give him vitamins.*Your daughter is on drugs*Put her on rehab.*Your wife is pregnant*baby is not yours , ---get a lawyer.*And if you don\'t stop jerking off*Your tennis elbow will never get better.

Update:

翻譯

有個男人向他的朋友抱怨說,

『我的胳臂很痛。我想我應該去看醫生。』

他的朋友回答,『不要去啦!!藥房裡有台能

治百病的電腦,比醫生還快又便宜。你只要

放入你的尿液樣本電腦就會診治出你的病因

還會告訴你如何處理。只花你十元而已。』

男人覺得試試也沒什麼壞處,所以他就帶了

一瓶尿液樣本到西藥房去。

找到電腦之後,他倒進了尿液樣本然後投了

十元。電腦開始發出一些噪音不同燈號開始

閃爍著。停頓了一會兒後掉出了一張小紙條

上面寫著:

*你手肘發炎

*把手浸在溫水裡

*避免用力工作

*兩週內會改善

Update 2:

那天的傍晚他一直想著這不可思議的新科技

會如何改寫醫藥科學,想著想著就開始好奇

這個機器是否會被愚弄。

於是他決定試它一試。他混了一些水龍頭水,

一點小狗便便的樣本,他老婆和女兒的尿液。

為了達成混淆視聽的作用,他還加了一點自己

的精液。然後他回到藥房,投進了10塊錢。

機器如往常一般的發出了一些聲音然後印出了

以下的處方簽:

*你家水龍頭水太硬了

*換個軟點的水

*你家的狗有虫

*給牠吃維他命

*你女兒在喀藥

*送她去勒戒所

*你老婆懷孕

*小孩不是你的--找律師

*如果你不停止胡鬧

*手肘發炎永遠不會好

2 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    tennis elbow 是網球肘

    heavy labor 是工作量太大

    water softener 是把水裡的鈣質 鐵質去掉的東西

    jerking off 直接翻打手X 比較有效果

    Source(s):
  • 1 decade ago

    建議你去找翻譯網站........

    雖然隊你不太好意思.............

    可是我覺得你最好去找翻譯的網站..

    因為那個比較標準...

    Source(s): 翻譯網站
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