Michael asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請英文高手幫我看一下這篇英文自傳的文法

急,請英文高手幫我看一下這段英文自傳的文法是否正確,謝謝!

Working experience

Served in the OO Logistics of OO group in 1995, served as a group leader of 3C logistics department, this is my starting point in logistics industry, on the job to responsible for OO company during that time, train storekeeper person use the Handy Scanner , make them possess serial number of management, manage, confirm, goods storage, delivering process etc., tempering and studying among them is sturdy. Participate in the training schedule being held together by OO logistics and OO logistics association during that time, manage the special course and complete all courses in logistics lasting for 4 months, this course lets me have deeper understanding in practice.

Take a broad view of this period of time, for our customer OO company, over 1000 distributors in Taiwan, they got our best service in logistics, 3C products’ need are but really fast, make them more strong in Taiwan.

Changing my job to OO Logistics from 2000, serve as group leader of logistics department, go through the establishment of the logistics center during this time, and participate in delivering planning , operation services more than 60 retail sales in Taiwan.

Be responsible for the books storehouse, the collected books are more than 400,000 volumes, the passing in and out amount nearly has four to five thousand volumes normally every day, lead and do combining management in EXE system.

Also cooperate various kinds of advertising campaign to need separately, and produce various kinds of circulation process the way.

It is finished by way of contracting outside the committee and manage effectively , makes me have more concrete experience in management.

1 Answer

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    你的句子太長了, 英文跟中文不一樣, 每一句最好是用句號隔開. 而且好像每一句都沒有主詞.

    記得要用過去式. 下面是大概改過的 result. 有些我不太確定你想要表達的意思, 所以你可能要再看過一遍.

    Working experience

    I have served in the OO Logistics of OO group in 1995 as a group leader of 3C logistics department. I was responsible for OO company to train the storekeeper to use the Handy Scanner, which allow them to possess serial number of management, manage, confirm, goods storage, delivering process… etc. I have also participated in the joint training schedule held by OO logistics and OO logistics association, which included special manage course. It was in four months. This course allowed me to have a better understanding in practice.

    For our customer OO company, which has over 1000 distributors in Taiwan, they received our best service in logistics. The 3C products’ need are but really fast (我不清楚這一句話的意思) and allowed them to become more competitive in Taiwan.

    I have transferred to OO Logistics in 2000 and served as group leader in the logistics department.

    I was responsible to go through the establishment of the logistics center, participate in delivering planning, and the operation services for more than 60 retail sales in Taiwan.

    I was also responsible for the books storehouse, which the collected more than four hundred thousand volumes of books. Everyday, four to five thousand volumes of books were passed in and out, which leads to combing management in EXE system.

    Also I have cooperated various kinds of advertising campaigns and produced various kinds of circulation processes.

    It is finished by way of contracting outside the committee and managed effectively, making me more concrete in management.

    Source(s): My Brain...
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