佩姬 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

[送你15點]求英文寫作高手!!!~~~請幫我改作文

[我的第二篇文章]

想要提升我的作文能力~~~~

如果可以的話,也順便敎我怎麼樣會寫的比較優美好ㄇ??

最重要的是要把我的錯誤挑出來!!!

麻煩各位了^^

How to Be Popular

Most people want to be popular with others, but not everyone can achieve this goal. Let me tell you what the secret is to popularity.

First of all, you can improve your appearance. You should always make sure that you stay in good shape and well-dressed. As the saying goes, “ People judge a book by its cover. ” Your appearance reveals a lot about you.

Secondly, you can smile and appeal friendly. Because your facial expression is an important part of your appearance. A smile works like magic. If you can do this, people will be impressed by your confidence and be attracted to your good looks.

In addition, you can develop more consideration for others. It is important to be a good listener with others. In this way, people will comfortable to confide to you.

To sum up, no matter what you do, you must remember to be yourself, not be phony. Only by being sincere and respectful of others can we earn their respect. If you can do all of the point. I am sure popularity will be after you!

1 Answer

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  • 1 decade ago
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    How to Be( I would use "Become") Popular

    Most people want to be popular with others(this sentence sounds very awkward, I would change it to= Being popular is the dream for most people), but not everyone can achieve this goal. Let me tell you what the secret is to popularity(I would change to=Let me tell you the secret to popularity).

    First of all, you can improve your appearance. You should always make sure that you stay in good shape and well-dressed. As the saying goes, “ People judge a book by its cover. ”(hmm.. I thought it's always = Don't judge a book by it's cover) Your appearance reveals a lot about you( I would move this sentence forward to start off this paragraph).

    Secondly, you can smile and appeal friendly. (Never start off a sentense with "because")Because your facial expression is an important part of your appearance. A smile works like magic. If you can do this, people will be impressed by your confidence and be attracted to your good looks(I think you should put this two reasons into one paragraph, after all, they contradict to each other.)

    In addition, you can develop more consideration for others(bad grammar). It is important to be a good listener with others. In this way, people will (feel more) comfortable to confide to you.

    To sum up(Use Utimately..etc., "To sum up" to much verbal slangs, you want to avoid that), no matter what you do, you must remember to be yourself(You should always remember to be yourself), not (to) be phony. Only by being sincere and respectful of others can we(take we off) earn their respect(respect from others). If you can do all of the point(s). I am sure popularity will be after you. (Popularity will surely be after you)

    Source(s): SF無聊的上班族
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