Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 2 decades ago

英文達人幫忙改我寫的英文段落(急)

我的英文寫作還不是很好,可是老師說交的時候又要perfect,所以希望各位幫我看一下哪些地方需要修改還有看order有沒有錯 謝謝 (指定的format : topic sentence,concrete detail ,commentary,commentary,

,concrete detail, commentary, commentary,concluding sentence)

“Pride is a wonderful, terrible thing.” it’s a confession made by the narrator about how the feeling, pride, can manipulate him to be cruel to his younger brother, Doodle. The narrator taught Doodle to walk even though Doodle was not capable of walking because he was born with weak heart. The narrator force Doodle to walk because of his pride, he was ashamed of having a crippled brother, the feeling block his heart and made him become a self- concerned brother that doesn’t care about Doodle. Feeling ashamed of his brother doesn’t mean he didn’t love his brother, but once he’s overwhelmed with shame, he was able to do anything to Doodle to satisfy his feeling of pride without considering the consequences. Eventually, Doodle died after the narrator left him behind when the storm came, he left him because the plan of letting Doodle go to school didn’t work. Again, it’s the pride, the belief of the narrator’s own infallibility, killed Doodle. He didn’t considerate what will happen to Doodle if he left him, and the reason he left Doodle is because Doodle didn’t accomplish the terrible plans the narrator prepared to content the narrator’s belief of his own infallibility. Just like what the author said, pride is a seed that simultaneously bears the vines of life and death, the narrator just let the dark side of pride controls him, and he takes his brother for granted. People usually see people which they love for granted when they are around, but regretted after they loose them, cherish others when they are around you, don’t let the feelings change the way you treat them.

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  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago
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    Pride is a wonderful also terrible thing. 引號拿掉 It was a confession made by the narrator about how the feeling of pride had manipulated him to be cruel to his younger brother 逗點拿掉 Doodle. The narrator taught Doodle to walk on foot even though he was aware of that Doodle was not capable of walking due to an innate weak heart. The narrator forced 過去式 Doodle to walk because of his pride that he was ashamed of having a crippled brother. His mind was clouded by his pride and made himself an egoistic brother that didn't care about Doodle. Feeling ashamed of his brother didn't mean he didn't love his brother, but whenever he was overwhelmed with such shame, he could unconciously do somthing to Doodle to satisfy his feeling of pride without considering the consequences. 請注意 he, his, him 指的是誰,因為他倆都是男的。

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