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Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

英文笑話數則~

請提供英文笑話數則~謝謝~長篇短篇都可以~

參加比賽用ㄉ~><

4 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    1.Hole in One:

    There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.

    The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !"

    They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?"

    2. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "do you have any bread?"

    The bartender replies "No, we sell alcohol."

    The next day the duck comes back and asks "Do you have any bread?"

    The bartender replies "No, we don't"

    The third day the duck comes back to ask for bread again and the bartender again replied "No".

    On the fourth day, when the duck walked in, the frustrated bartender said first "Look, if you are going to ask me for bread again, I'm going to nail your beak to the table."

    The duck asked "Do you have any nails?" The bartender said "No."

    "Good" said the duck. "Do you have any bread?"

    3. Why did the two blondes jump off a cliff?

    Becasue they thought their maix-pad had wings

    4. A French guy, an American guy and a Cuban guy are standing on a cliff. The French guy throws a case of fine wine off the cliff. ''Why did you do that?''asked the other men.

    ''We have plenty of fine wine in France,'' said the man.

    Next, the Cuban guy throws a box of fine cigars off the cliff. ''Why did you do that?'' asked the other men.

    "'We have plenty of cigars in Cuba,'' said the Cuban man.

    Finally, the American man pickes up the Cuban man and throws him off the cliff. ''What did you do that for?'' asked the French man.

    ''We have plenty of Cubans in America."

    5. Three men stood on top of a magical slide which gives you objects of your desire when you slide down it and yell out what you want.

    The first man went down the slide and called out "DIAMONDS!" and he landed in a pile of diamonds.

    The second man went down the slide and yelled "MONEY" and landed in a mountain of notes and coins.

    The third man went down the slide and yelled "Wheeeee~!!"

    6.A Canadian, an American and a China man are stranded on a deserted island. The Canadian tells the others that he will be in charge of food. American volunteers to be in charge of water and the Chinese man says he will be in charge of supplies. They split up to do their jobs and decide to meet up later. When the Canadian and the American return, there is no sign of the Chinese man. Days pass by, but they still can't find their friend. One day as they are walking along a path, the Chinese man jumps from the bushes and yells "SUPPLIES!"

    7.What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

    A stick.

    8.There was a Irishman, Mexican, and a blonde guy, who were construction workers and they were working on top of a building. It was lunch time and the Irish man opens his lunch pail and he gets cabbage and beef and he says, "If I get one more beef and cabbage for lunch I'm gonna jump off of this building."

    Then the Mexican opens his lunch pail and he gets a burrito, he says if I get one more burrito for lunch I'm gonna jump off this building. The blonde man opens his lunch pale and gets a chicken sandwhich he siad if I get one more chicken sandwhich I'm gonna jump off of this building.

    The next day the Irish man opens his lunch pail and finds cabage and beef so he jumps off the building to his death. Then the Mexican opens hid lunch pail and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building to his death. Then the blonde guy opens his lunch pale and finds a chicken sandwhich, so he jumps off to his death as well.

    The next day at their funeral the Irish man's wife said, ''Only if I would have known that he didn't like cabage and beef I would have packed him something else." Then the Mexican's wife then said, ''If I only knew he didn't like burritos, I would have packed something else. ''Finally, the blonde man's wife siad '' I don't know what his problem was; he packed his own lunch.''

    Source(s): Me&friend&google
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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    瞭解一次、多一次的保障。尋找八大行業工作。必須謹慎小心一點。

    小巴常說:保險跟冒險只差一個字,意義卻是大不同!

    一通電話、一次詢問。都是為自己的著想。

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  • 1 decade ago

    President Bush visit a primary school in Arkensa,

    "Good morning, it is good to see you all study hard and making progress. Since this is English class, can anyone of you give me an example to express the word "disaster"?". Asked by Bush.

    John raised his hand,

    "How about a fully loaded chemical tank wagon turnned over on the highway and explode?"

    " No, this is not a disaster. It is just an accident. "

    Cindy stand up,

    "How about a big fire take place in a department store and 100s of people cannot making their way out and died due to suffocation"

    "No, you can call this a tragedy but it is not a disaster. Anyone else?" Reply by Bush.

    "Dear President. How about the first family's helicopter crashed on their way to the Camp David and killed the whole family?" Little Mary speak in a confident manner.

    "Good girl. Yes, it is perfect example. Can you share your thinking to evearybody to have a better understanding?" Asked by the President.

    " Absolutely, sir." with big smile on her face, Mary proceed, "Think about it. It is not a tragedy to America and it might not necessary an accident. That make it a disaster."

    President Bush".........."

    ==END==

    Source(s): Old memory 10 years ago. This joke is actually goes to Colinton at that moment.
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  • 1 decade ago

    your mom is so fat that when she turns around, you'll need make her a welcome home party..

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