Stan asked in 社會與文化語言 · 2 decades ago

請幫忙改英文作文......20點 (感恩)

幫忙修改英文作文

小弟因為想準備全民英檢中高級的寫作,但無奈不在是學生,無法找到老師

幫忙改作文,因此希望板上的能幫忙看看,是否文章有文法或不適的地方

(如單字使用錯誤,沒寫出重點,詞不達意等..)

The recent news about the accident of brittle bone baby is a popular issue. The majority think the penalty for the student who accidentally caused the brittle bone classmate to die is too heavy. Most people support the defendant who just tried to help the brittle bone classmate. The defendant, however, is responsible for the classmate’s death, but he doesn’t deserve such heavy punishment. The absurd verdict which the judge announced could bring negative influence to society. First of all, it could badly influence people’s values of helping others. When people see someone who needs help indeed, they won’t give him a favor easily. According the teaching, they will probably think that if they help them they might get into trouble. Second, it makes people become kindless. Since being children, we have been taught about helping others is the ultimate source of happiness. After the negative influence, next time we may be taught that don’t help others easily, or you will get into trouble. Third, people will be disappointed about the world. More and more people will dare not to help people due to the risk of getting trouble. Gradually, the world will lack love, kindness and care. To sum up, the world needs love and kindness in it. Without these individualities, it will become worse. People will trust nobody and be selfish. Consequently, we will ruin this wonderful world by ourselves.

1 Answer

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  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago
    Favorite Answer

    The recent news about the accidental death of the brittle bone baby is a popular topic. The majority of the people think the penalty for this case ( ) is too harsh/severe. Those who supported the defendant believed the defendant was just trying to be helpful to the brittle bone's classmate. The defendant, however, is responsible for the classmate’s death, but he does not deserve such a severe punishment. The absurd verdict that the judge announced could bring negative influence to our/the society. First, it could badly influence people’s values of helping others. When people see someone who needs help indeed, they will not have sympathy towards them. According to this lesson ( ), they will probably think that if they help the needed they might get into trouble. Secondly, it makes people have no compassion for each other. Ever since we were children, we have been taught ( ) helping others is the ultimate source of happiness. After the negative influence from this case, next time the lesson maybe ( ) do not help others even if you could, because you might get into trouble. Thirdly, people will be disappointed with the world. More and more people ( ) dare not to help others because of the conquences. Gradually, the world will lack love, kindness and compassion. Finally, the world needs love and kindness more than ever and without these individualities, it will become worse. People will trust nobody and become selfish. Consequently, we will ruin this wonderful world ( ) with our own hands.大致上說來沒有什麼太大的錯處 我替你修飾了一些(僅供參考)!!1. 也可以用accidental death.2. 如果指的是"民眾的談論",用topic比較貼切些.3. 指的是民眾加個 of the people.4. 用case這個字表示這個案子. 5. First(ly), Secondly, Thirdly,加ly因為是用副詞形容整個句子.6. The rest is just the choices of words, not mistakes.7. with our own hands ---> 被我們親手催毀了(這樣形容好像比較生動些)

    2005-10-10 04:09:50 補充:

    Thanks!! You are more than welcome!!

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