Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 2 decades ago

Please help me to check this

This is the conclusion of my speech, and it's about anxiety disorders...

Could you help me to check this??

Is that appropriate??

Or I should add more??

If I need to, could you give me some suggestions??

Anxiety is a kind of moody reaction that everyone all has it and it is very ordinary.

The stress, bad mood will cause it or something influences you a lot.

So, learn to ease, relax, and find the way to cut down your stress is really important.

And I hope everyone will have the healthy body and healthy mind.

Thank you for your attention...

BTW---it's an oral presentation...tks...

Update:

thanks for your answers...

actually this is my first time to ask the question...

i'm so happy to see your useful responses"presently". lol...

cuz i know there are a lot of people giving the wrong answers here.

tks, really...

especially mathLord's additional remarks

^@^...

4 Answers

Rating
  • 2 decades ago
    Favorite Answer

    Anxiety is a kind of ordinary mood reaction that everyong has.

    Stress, mood swings, and anything that is influential to a person would cause anxiety.

    Thus, learning to ease one's mind and relax one's body, and finding different ways to cut down one's stress are really important in reducing anxiety.

    I hope everyone will have a healthy body and healthy mind.

    Thank you for your attention.

    comments:

    1) Anxiety is a kind of moody reaction that everyone all has it and it is very ordinary. <-- a lot of redundant description. u want to keep your sentences short and to the point.

    2) The stress, bad mood will cause it or something influences you a lot. <-- What is "it"? "The" stress is which stress?? misusage of article (see below), and not specific enough with "it".

    3) So, learn to ease, relax, and find the way to cut down your stress is really important. <-- first of all, you've given more than one suggestions in this sentence, so you should've used "are" not "is". secondly, it does not make sense to say "ease stress" or "relax stress". you need to be more specific of what you are easing and relaxing.

    4) And I hope everyone will have the healthy body and healthy mind. <-- do not start a sentense with "but" or "and". also misuage of article (see below).

    articles: a, the

    when to use "a" ?

    -- when speaking in general, such as "healthy body", "healthy mind", "a" should be used, not "the". i.e. He has a healthy body.

    -- when mentioning an object, a charactor, or a place for the first time, such as "desk", "house", "park", "knight", "a" is used, not "the". i.e. Once upon a time, there was a princess in a large dark castle.

    when to use "the"?

    -- when speaking of an object, a charactor, or a place for the second time. i.e. Rumor said the princess was extremely beautiful and the castle was haunted.

    -- when speaking of a well known object. i.e. I woud love to go visit the pyramid.

    參考資料:

    ok, i do not want to say this but i can't help it since i've seen too many ppl here vote for the wrong answers. English is my daily language. you do not necessarily have to pick my answer, but pls do not choose the ones that don't even make sense.

    i've only told you the part (grammar usage) i am 100% sure of. there are other things need to be explained but i am not the right person.

    GOOD LUCK with ur oral presentation!

  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    excuse me, i know i can't use "and" or "but" at the begining of sentenses...

    but it's for oral,

    i can't use it also??

    2005-09-03 02:39:52 補充:

    OK~I got it!!tks...

  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    Anxiety is a kind of emotional reaction that everyone encounters  it from time to time; therefore, it is very ordinary. Both stress and bad mood will cause it or something influences you a lot. Therefore, learn to ease, relax, and find the way to deal with your stress is really important. I hope everyone will have a healthy body and a sound mind. Thank you for your attention... If you want a better way, you could say something like following:Anxiety is emotional related reaction that ordinary people encounter this feeling from time to time.  Therefore, it is quite a common thing in our society.  There are several causes for anxiety.  However, stress, bad mood and long-term depression can trigger it happening.  Therefore, to learn how to ease, relax or deal with anxiety is very important in our daily life.  Finally, I hope everyone will have a healthy body and a sound mind.

    2005-09-02 10:20:01 補充:

    If you want to use proper English, you cannot use "and" or "but" at the beginning of any sentense.

  • 匿名
    Lv 7
    2 decades ago

    I have corrected some words in your sentences.

    Anxiety is a kind of moody reaction that everyone can have it and it is very ordinary.

    The stress, bad mood can cause it or when an individual is on medication.

    Therefore, learn to ease, relax and find the way to cut down on stress is really important.

    I hope everyone has a healthy body and mind.

    And thank you for listening to my presentation

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.