哈哈 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 2 decades ago

幫個忙~改英文作文!!

大家幫個忙.英文不錯的人來幫我訂正一下錯誤!

我對這一篇作文很沒信心.這一篇作文是要寫"人應不應該由第一眼印象來判斷別人".可是我覺得我寫的很雜亂無章.所以有什麼意見請盡量告訴我!感謝!!<(_ _)>

The Impression of One Person

People often judge a person by his/her appearance nowadays. But in my opinion, it is wrong to judge a person at first sight. I think the most important thing to get to know people is trying to communicate with them, make friends with them, and dig their advantages by getting along with them. By doing these things, we’ll figure out that a person who looks ugly may be very kind and thoughtful. On the contrary, if we judge people by their appearances. We often get shock and feel uncomfortable eventually. Because those things which seem very fantastic usually become the most terrible disadvantages.

Thus, we must tell a person from the conversations in our daily lives. We will find that more people are available to make friends with!

5 Answers

Rating
  • 2 decades ago
    Favorite Answer

    你的作文不錯!有重點!

    不過英文寫作的每一段的第一句,又叫thesis或topic sentence,

    是最重要的,通常會把要在該段作陳述的重要觀念放在那一句裡!

    當然,也可已一開始用問答的方式,讓文章多變化!

    另外,如果你是高中以上程度,作文最好至少分為三段,

    分為intrduction-->說明背景.你為什麼要談這樣的問題.陳述現況..等

    像你這篇文章可以在這一段寫憑外表或第一印象評斷人的缺點

    body(不限只寫一段)-->你的主要論述

    你這篇文章可寫正確了解一個人的方法及其好處

    conclusion-->綜上所述,作一個小結論

    至於你的作文,有幾點小建議:

    1.第一行:but是連接詞,只能連結兩個句子,所以前面應該是逗號

    用句點那but所帶領的那一句就錯了

    2.第三行:宜改為....is to try....

    3.第三行末: dig one's advantages,挖掘某人的優點,感覺好中文喔!

    而且dig用法是dig sth for sth,

    如dig a hole for worms,

    所以就算要用dig也應是dig for their advantages

    不過建議改成discover their advantages(potential/best qualities)

    4.第六行: we often...前應是逗點,

    前一句由if所引導的是副詞子句,沒有主要子句,

    如果we前是句點,則前一句就錯了!

    5.第六行: 改為get shocked and (feel) disappointed

    6.第七行: because嚴格說起來也是從屬連接詞,所以也不建立單獨寫成一句,

    建議fantastic之後加 at first

    7.倒數第二行:建議改成 we can know(realize) a person better by having....

    因為tell a from b是了解a b 的不同

    8最後一句建議改為

    And we can find out who is worth making friends with.

    (我們才能發現誰值得當朋友)

    我幾乎不去改變你的語意只是幫你注意一下文法和用字囉!

    加油!

    Source(s):
    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 2 decades ago

    真的嗎?你人好好喔!給了我ㄧ些信心.可是我想我的作文去參加大學聯考還是上不了檯面吧!~我要再加油!也希望各位網友多幫幫忙喔!謝謝你們!!^0^

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    The Impression of One Person

    People often judge a person by his/her appearance nowadays. But in my opinion, it is wrong to judge a person at first glance. I think the most important thing to get to know people is to try to communicate with them, be friendly to them, focus on their good points and try to get along with them. By doing these things, we can discover that a person who looks ugly maybe very kind and thoughtful. On the contrary, if we judge people by their appearances, we often get surprised and feel uncomfortable eventually. Because those things which seem very fantastic usually can cover the most terrible behavior.

    Thus, we can tell about a person from the conversations in our daily lives. We will discover that there are more people we can make friends with!

    Source(s): me
    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    On the contrary, if we judge people by their appearances. We often get shock and feel

    uncomfortable eventually

    We 前應該為逗點,因為 " if we judge people by their appearances " 不能單獨為一句歐。

    " Because those things which seem very fantastic usually become the most terrible disadvantages. " 的disadvantages是指缺點嗎? shortcoming會不會比較好?disadvantages表缺點通常不是人,有不利條件的意思,如the disadvantage of living in this town,住這個城鎮的不利條件(缺點)。其實這句我不是很懂,要不要刪掉,不失完整性。

    我覺得" tell a person from the conversations " 改成 " learn a person from his conversations " 比較好,tell有區別的意思,learn有認識、得知的意思。

    其他大概還ok~

    2005-09-01 14:54:22 補充:

    我剛考完聯考..作文18/20(考前命中作文題目..呵呵)

    如果聯考你寫那樣我覺得至少有15分

    Source(s):
    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    相信我,你已經是在奇摩知識英文算很好的人了。

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.