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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 2 decades ago

請幫我改一下英文自傳

請英文好的各位幫我改一下英文自傳好嗎?

內容只要一分鐘就行了.

因為我英文很爛.雖然去圖書館找過書.但是應該還是會有很多錯誤...

謝謝各位.

My autobiography

Goods afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

My name is xxx.

I graduated from the department of Practical Japanese at Tamkang University.

My majored in technical college is Business Administration, so I studied my different things. Mostly, Business administration and economics.

Though I have many interests, reading is what I like most. So I want to work for a publishing company after graduation.

I think I am some what on the shy side, to get along with people whose characters are different from my own, I try to adapt myself.

I am the kind of person who is easily moved, but I know that I do need more self-confidence to see a thing through to the finish. I want to keep on learning new things to increase my ability and broaden my horizons.

Thank you very much for your time.

3 Answers

Rating
  • Jango
    Lv 5
    2 decades ago
    Favorite Answer

    Goods afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

    -->no problem here ^^

    My name is xxx.

    -->ok here ^^

    I graduated from the department of Practical Japanese at Tamkang University.

    -->this is fine too ^^

    My majored in technical college is Business Administration, so I studied my different things. Mostly, Business administration and economics.

    --> "I" majored in Business Administration while I studied in a technical college and obtained many practical skills. Mostly in the field of Business Administration and Economics.

    -->this sentence works better if broken into two separate sentences

    Though I have many interests, reading is what I like most.

    -->suggestion: use "enjoy" instead of "like"

    So I want to work for a publishing company after graduation.

    -->When starting a sentence avoid using "so" instead you can use "therefore" or "as a result"

    -->suggestion: change the sentence to "As a result, it is naturally my dream to be able to work in a publishing company upon graduation.

    I think I am some what on the shy side, to get along with people whose characters are different from my own, I try to adapt myself.

    -->in Canada, we are taught not to use "I think" in any writing; since it is your work of course the readers would know that it is your opinion so "I think" is unecessary

    -->so the sentence should be like: "I am somewhat a shy person" (somewhat is one word and you can also use the word "quiet" instead of "shy" but both work well in here)

    -->suggestion: make second part a separate sentence "I try to make friends with different people and blend into my surroundings."

    I am the kind of person who is easily moved, but I know that I do need more self-confidence to see a thing through to the finish.

    -->first part fine

    --> second part to "... , and I have came to the realization that I need a boost in self-confidence adn to believe in myself in order to achieve greater things in life."

    I want to keep on learning new things to increase my ability and broaden my horizons.

    -->suggestion: change "I want to keep on learning new things to.." to "I am eager to continue education in order to..."

    Thank you very much for your time.

    --> you can add "and attention" : "thank you very much for your time and attention"

    Source(s): me ah ^^ hope this helps ya
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  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    Good afternoon.

    My name is xxx.

    I graduated from Tamkang University with Practical Japanese major.

    I also majored Business Administration in a technical college (better to give the actual name). Most of the subjects I studied are related to business administration and economics.

    I have many interests, but I enjoy reading the most. That is why I want to work for a publishing company after graduation.

    I am a little shy, but easy going. I get along with different types of people easily. I am also very adaptable. I usually fit in fine in different kind of situations.

    Being easily convenced by others is my weakness. I am learning on improving my visions on a broader horizon.

    Thank you very much for your time.

    Source(s): 逐在美國十五年的我
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  • 2 decades ago

    My autobiography

    Goods afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

    (good afternoon.... dont' know where you got the s for good)

    My name is xxx.

    I graduated from the department of Practical Japanese at Tamkang University.

    (I graduated from Tamkang University with a major in Practical Japanese. )

    My majored in technical college is Business Administration, so I studied my different things. Mostly, Business administration and economics.

    (I also studied Business Administrative in a technical college, so as you can see I studied different things, but mostly business administration and economics.)

    Though I have many interests, reading is what I like most. So I want to work for a publishing company after graduation.

    I think I am some what on the shy side, to get along with people whose characters are different from my own, I try to adapt myself.

    (I think I"m somewhat on the shy sid when it comes to working with people who are different from me, but I am working on that.)

    I am the kind of person who is easily moved, but I know that I do need more self-confidence to see a thing through to the finish.

    [easily moved? 你是說容易被說動/說服嗎? 說實在的整句我都看不太懂]

    (I am the kinda person who can be persuaded easily, but I know that I do need more self confidence. )

    (我是那種很容易被說服的人, 但是我的確需要更多自信)

    I want to keep on learning new things to increase my ability and broaden my horizons.

    (把broaden改成broadening.. 因為你前面用learning~ 所以後面要平行)

    Thank you very much for your time.

    Source(s): moi
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