How long before a garden gnome stumbles onto this question?

I’ve booby-trapped it with a pine-scented gnome lure and an explosive charge.

11 Answers

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  • bunny
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    do you have any idea what you have done? they are gone! all of them! i need to know how you overpowered the security codes on all our trap doors at once? i can't let this happen again. it's not just my job on line here. those guys from virginia don't mess around. you saw what happened to jimmy hoffa? same dudes run the gnome search. i'm as good as toast unless i have some answers by the time they fly into lindburg in the morning. look, it's not just me. i have noone. i won't be missed. but there are others here, some have families. i have to protect them whatever my cost. i knew what i was getting into when i signed on a gnome search. i was getting so bored at cia. i wanted a chalenge. gnome opps sounded so good. get the cob webs out of my brain and do something dangerious again. ya, i know, national securety and all. but obviously you got around our security, so i know your a player. your with nsa, right? doesn't matter? you could be a 4th grader playing fish frenzy on your dad's lap top while he was in the shower, and hit the wrong keys in the right order? i warned them it was too easy. they can't say i didn't warn them. thank god lindburg is closed to until 6am. i still have a few hours? hell, i can see mexico from the lab, but they'd find me there. all my pall from homeland security would see me crossing over. bastards always wanted my job. they think this gnome thing was just another toco shop front for cia? boy were they wrong. damn, i forgot about miramar. they don't have to wait for lindburg to open. damn navy will let anyone with with a military transponder land. fbi, cia, cid and those loonies assigned to lockness watch all have planes with military transponders on board. they could have grabbed a lear out of regan international hours ago. damn, i forgot that fact. no wait, it's the weekend. most agency jets will be working that bigfoot trapping thing up near mt st helen. no, i forgot those dude from yetti watch. they always hold back a transport or two. ya, we got clout with the president ever since that gnome snatched that mut from barbara bush at christmas. if there is a plane left in dc, my guys got it and could be on the way? hell, they could be landing at miramar any minute! i have to think... clear my head. you got me into this mess... don't you have anything to say? not even an i'm sorry? do you have any idea how many inocent gardeners will suffer because of what you did tonight? it may take weeks, months to round up all those you let escape tonight! every garden they hit will take manpower to cover up. relocate familys, erase memories, repair unexplained damage to nosy neighbors. it'll cost the angency millions. and what about those who only think something is going on? what about all those empty classroom seats monday morning? we've always had trouble from teachers when little johnny doesn't show up after a few days. more relocataions, more memories to wipe. then there is always the press. all it takes is one careless gnome crossing interstate 8 and get trapped in the headlights of some cross country trucker... they all carry cb raidos. the press hears a few stories and those liberal sons of ... enough. i gotta get the rest of these files shreaded and plan an escape. i still have 3 or 4 good pass ports from cia and cash tucked away in poland and hongkong. i can run for awile. but where? my contacts changed when i left virgina. i know... you got me into this and you're going get me out. good, my homeland security internet tracker has the exact location of your pc downloading on my palm already. got ya. closer then i hoped. im out of here. watch for me and signal it's safe, okay? black crown vic. californa plates. red baseball cap on backwords. i'll bring along some photos from the lab. other things too. bargaining chips. i even have a sickly gnome baby you missed when you sprung all the cage doors. he was locked in sickbay when you sprung the others. that lock is coded different from the cage door locks. if they know we have a live gnome as a hostage, they wouldn't dare move on us, not when they know what we have? it my be our best chip at keeping us alive. okay, get the coffee pot heated up. you and i have a big night ahead. if we play our cards right we'll be safe and out of the county by this time monday. pack light, we'll buy all new stuff when we get clear of the states. but don't go out side before i get there. i found you and they can too. gnomes think different... they'll not look at you as haveing helped them escape. they'll look at you as some threat and won't think twice about doing you harm. crap, i here cars coming up the road. it's them, i know it. if you don't hear from me soon assume they got me? if they got me it's only hours before their onto you too. they don't care if you're with the nsa or a 4th grade kid playing games. all they care about is making you gone. blame in on the little monsters you let escape tonight. i am on my way. need some warm beaver milk for the sicly gnome baby that'a coming with me. rememember, black crown vic, calif plates. we'll talk when i arrive. no time for spell check, i gotta run...

    Source(s): garden dok, cia opps manual 55
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There are twelve females to every male in the Gnome world. If I would have been a male, you really messed up. You need to check out Disney's "The Gnome Mobile" You'll see that We Gnomes never hurt anyone. Why in the toadstool would you every want to hurt one of us?

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  • 1 decade ago

    Garden Gnomes scare me.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm glad to see that those menacing gnomes didn't kidnap you...I was beginning to worry. Toss them some poisoned pine-scented mushrooms. You know gnomes...they will never turn down a mushroom.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I do believe they are on to you. You are becoming one of them without even realizing it. Look at all the mutli-colours you display.....just like a gnome.....lol

    Pretty soon you will be standing in the garden between the plants, with that silly grin, and they will be on the computer.

    That is one scary thought!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Unlikely, very few use the computer (no opposable thumbs).

    P.S. I've found that Garden Gnomes don't like pine, try gardenia.

    Source(s): Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pest - 4th edition
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  • Sassy
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Is that why a gnome justed hopped past me clutching his toes? You know, he did have a strange woodsy smell...sorry, I guess he got away before the blast hit him.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't know I don't let garden gnomes in my garden they scare the plants to death

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  • 5 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    Its gnomishtery.

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