Can I forgive my wife for being in an affair?

My wife had an affair for 10 months with a supposed friend of mine. She confessed it to me and disclosed everything. She said she regrets what she's done and wants our marriage to work and does not know what she was thinking. As I spoke to her, she revealed a lot of things that lead me to believe this was a... show more My wife had an affair for 10 months with a supposed friend of mine. She confessed it to me and disclosed everything. She said she regrets what she's done and wants our marriage to work and does not know what she was thinking.

As I spoke to her, she revealed a lot of things that lead me to believe this was a mentally abusive relationship. Mindgames, ultimatums and threats were used to keep her from ending the affair several times. She has completely cut ties with her former partner but now he is stalking her.

I confronted her six months ago and she denied the affair. I saw all the signs but chose to ignore them. We still had a lot of affection, but both of us were not into each other intimately for a time. I used to imagine going out of the marriage but would never do it...

When you really think about the intricacies of these situations, its not so black and white -- I swore I'd leave w/o a second thought. But now its not so clear.

What do you think?
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