I want to be saved but cant?

I am 20 and want to be saved and have asked to be but deep inside I have questions I want to believe it I lay awake at night and think about dying and that there's nothing else and it scares me too death. I despratly want gods love but I have doubts that I try to shove out of my mind but I can't I want to ... show more I am 20 and want to be saved and have asked to be but deep inside I have questions I want to believe it I lay awake at night and think about dying and that there's nothing else and it scares me too death. I despratly want gods love but I have doubts that I try to shove out of my mind but I can't I want to but it seems so hard to believe what do I need to do
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