Because I am legally known as **** *** (Canadian name) and to everyone else, it seems I was "created" when I was brought off that plane back in March of 1987.
In fact, people have told me my life here is all that matters because of my adoptive family.
Do I have a good family? Absolutely. But did my life start here? NO.
No one is saying your love isn't real. No one is saying the love and support from your family isn't real. But the birth of a child IS real and to deny that on a BIRTH certificate... erases and replaces it with a lie.
My adoptive parents love me more than anything else in the world. That does not change that I was born to a Taiwanese mother and father in the summer of 1987. It does not mean my adoptive parents' love is any less. It just means I was not created as an adoptee - that I had a history which is NOT legally recognized.
"Only selfish people who want a child to fufill some sick fantasy of living their dreams through a "mini me" would say otherwise."
Actually... that still happens.
ETA: True, we all change throughout life. Various events shape us and influence our perspectives on how we see the world.
However, I was not born to be a Canadian citizen. I was born to be a Taiwanese citizen living with my Taiwanese parents IN Taiwan. Tragic circumstances forced that to change. But it wasn't what I was BORN to be. My identity is a combination of both, even though the Canadian one is legally recognized foremost and is of "most" importance, while the Taiwanese one is brushed off to the side.
The funny thing? If I had grown up with my original mother, NO ONE WOULD HAVE QUESTIONED IT.
People are not meant to be born just to separated or abandoned or abused or neglected JUST so adoption can occur. That's not how the world works.
Lashenova, I hate you to call you on the spot, but it seems you haven't left your PM on so I could actually contact you and discuss your response.
To be frank, it is insulting. It is insulting to read that so many people still think the worst of birthparents. It is insulting to read that because of the label "adoption" that all birthmothers would have beaten/neglected their children or that somehow, they did not love their children simply because they "gave them up."
That is black and white thinking - that you assume a mother did not want to raise her child on account of hearing that the child is adopted. That is actually quite unfair, and again, assumes the worst of the person who relinquished.
What if the birthmother wanted to raise the child? What if she simply lacked the resources, or access TO any of the available resources? What if she didn't know ABOUT the resources available? Is that fair?
Or is this where the attitude "too bad, so sad, sux to be you" comes in?
Now THAT I find sad.
Talking with an adoption agency via e-mail, observing my own adoption file, talking with various adoptive parents.