Why won't my boss accept "because I was too drunk to drive" as a valid excuse for missing a 9AM dept. meeting?

Sheesh, would he have preferred that I had driven in an inebriated state at that ungodly hour and endangered innocent lives just so I could be present at his precious meeting?
Update: Good advice, Gemini. I may just do that.
Update 2: Doctor Deth [sic]: Yeah, but this moron earns 6 figures, so put that in your pipe and smoke it, buddy.
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