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caught my best friend having sex with a guy?

I decided to pay him a surprise visit today because I got off work early. That's when I so just walked right in his apartment like i always do and there they were. I was shocked so I just turned around and left. He is totally my closest friend but this is something he has been keeping from me. I love him as i would family. We've known each other forever and I can't believe he wouldn't tell me. I have never been a person that is prejudice, I've even think it's stupid to say things like "that's so gay". It kinda makes me sad that he was afraid to tell me. I just want to know how to help him. He won't take my calls and blocked me from his face book. I guess he's not even listening to my messages.


I mean help like be a friend and support him. He's my bro.

12 Answers

  • Bhim
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    go and personally meet him .and tell him that its okay..........

    he's probably scare to death......i know being hated from the best friend u love is totally heart wenching and he probably thinks u would kill him....

    this is the fear the world has installed upon us!!!! sick

  • 1 decade ago

    Aw. I'm sorry he's being so cold to you. You sound like a great friend. He's probably feeling kind of humiliated right now, especially since you found out in such a direct way. He's probably also a little bit afraid that you will be horrible to him, and by avoiding you he's trying to avoid facing his fear.

    Try not to be mad at him for not telling you before. I know you feel sad that he didn't know he could count on your friendship. But understand that he probably values your friendship so much that he was afraid of taking even the slightest risk.

    He probably will contact you within a few days. I would expect him to listen to your messages when he's less freaked out and scared. If you don't hear from him within 3 days, I agree with the previous poster who suggested writing him a letter. In the letter, let him know that you're still his friend, and that you would never judge him for being gay, bi, bi-curious or whatever. Remind him of all the great things you have in common, and tell him that you're still there for him. Also, do apologise for showing up uninvited and embarassing him. He is lucky to have a friend like you, and I'm sure he'll realize that.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well he's probably just embarrassed. I would be too if anyone walked in on me having sex! He might have just been taking his time to tell you, or he might just be coming to terms with it himself. Just leave it for a few days and then go and see him, talk to him about it. Say you don't have a problem with it and the only thing you're upset about is that he didn't feel he could tell you. But overall, stop worrying. If he's your best friend then he will come around. Give it a little time

    Good luck with everything, hope everything works out between the two of you.

  • 1 decade ago

    It's really hard for some people to come out. They have families who would disown them, friends who would beat them up...

    Maybe he was just scared, or curious. Just because he had sex with a guy doesn't necessarily mean he is gay... He could just be bicurious. Give him some time. He's probably embarrassed and maybe even a little ashamed. It's honestley hard for someone to deal with something like that.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like this guy has serious self-acceptance issues with himself. He's obviously not ready to come out and he can't accept that you caught him. To save face, he's cutting off all contact with you because he can't accept that you know.

    That's a shame, but I don't think there's anything you can do right now. You may have to wait for him to accept himself for him to be able to face you again.

    Maybe give him some space for a while because you are possibly giving him a panic attack. Maybe when some time has passed he will be able to talk to you and will contact you himself.

  • 1 decade ago

    maybe you should meet him face to face so you guys can talk.

    really i think you should be kind of mad at him for ignoring you. you guys really need to talk, and in time i'm sure if he is a good enough friend, he will answer his phone, or even call you back and explain whats up and why he didn't want to tell you.

    i'm happy you're not one of those jerks who would ditch their best friend just because they found out he was gay, let alone catching him gay sex! kudos for you! you're a genuine friend!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What do you mean "help" him? What help does he need? Leave him a message apologizing for walking in on him! That's all that needs to be done. You're making a big deal out of nothing. No wonder he won't talk to you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    He's probably mad that you walked in and REALLY embarrassed. Just give it some time and call him up whenever you think enough time has passed and he might answer. Other then that you might just not talk to him anymore. If he does answer please don't say your gay, just try and be his friend.

  • 1 decade ago

    maybe he just wanted to experiment or he just found out he was gay and wanted to try it out to see if it was right for him. In other words to see if he really was gay, and then he would have probably told u.

  • 5 years ago

    Wtf!! Wate I thought you sed you did sleep with him and if you did well then DUuuuu he is a guy they brag aboute that stuf to there friends wether its there gf or some chick they just hooked up with its not that big of a deal

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