I am currently suffering from severe depression.?

I am at a total loss for what to do. I have future aspirations of a military career so seeing a doctor or psychiatrist is not an option as I would not be able to pass certain background checks. The occasional use of drugs (nothing crazy) and alcohol seem to help but I obviously cant go around stoned and drunk my... show more I am at a total loss for what to do. I have future aspirations of a military career so seeing a doctor or psychiatrist is not an option as I would not be able to pass certain background checks. The occasional use of drugs (nothing crazy) and alcohol seem to help but I obviously cant go around stoned and drunk my whole life. I'm really a normal guy I have lots of friends and a loving family, except I am almost always depressed, and although I have lived a pretty good life up until now I find myself always reminiscing on all the bad things that have happened in my life and never the good. What I'm really wondering is if there are any copping methods I can use and any over the counter drugs that I can take to help. And if your answer to this is for me to go get help please don't bother wasting my time. Thank you.
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