Hi, yes this is abusive behaviour. Be very careful. A man acting this way has no regard for women and may become physically violent. He may have a desire to put others down to boost his own ego, or he may despise weakness in others because he was bullied himself, maybe he wasn’t loved enough as a child, whatever...
Best answer: Hi, yes this is abusive behaviour. Be very careful. A man acting this way has no regard for women and may become physically violent. He may have a desire to put others down to boost his own ego, or he may despise weakness in others because he was bullied himself, maybe he wasn’t loved enough as a child, whatever the reason he has no right to take it out on you.
I strongly recommend buying a cheap, small, payg phone with long battery life, and hiding it very carefully, in case you need to call for help. He may search your room so hide it well. Save the numbers you need on it, and make sure friends know that number if you call them, but leave it off and on silent so it’s always charged.
Also, make sure you can barricade yourself inside your room with a chair, etc, if necessary. Look on YouTube to see how to do it.
A can of pepper spray is also worthwhile, if it comes to that.
Tell trusted friends about this situation and a teacher too.
Be aware that the teacher will probably want to talk to your mother, so you need to talk to her about this first.
She may have low self esteem and attract bullies, but you need to show her that together you can live without him.
Talk to a Women’s refuge service or charity, in your area. They’ll be the experts on what resources are near you and what to do and where to go if it gets worse. Don’t confront him or antagonise him without a plan of what to do if he becomes physical.
Maybe you’re worried that your mother won’t want anyone to know about it and she’ll be angry with you if she knows you’ve talked to people, but she’s putting both of you at risk by staying with him. Your emotional development and self esteem is being damaged by this home environment and either someone needs to force your step father to change his behaviour, or he needs to be kept away.
Finally, this probably won’t be the only a**hole you meet in life. Sadly there are lots of them, male and female. It’s a very good idea to do two things: 1) look at ‘non violent communication’ by Marshall Rosenberg to understand human behaviour and how to change it, and 2) practise self defense, know how to protect yourself, recognise danger and ‘create space’ between you and an attacker so you can get away. Ask a local women’s group about that. (If you’re in a rural area you might not have those resources locally so you’ll have to go online. In which case buy a phone online and have it sent to a friend’s house. If you can’t afford one, ask if a friend has an old one.)
Good luck, and remember, even though this guy treats you like crap, you have an absolute right to expect respect and kindness.
Learn from your mother’s mistakes and avoid them.
1 day ago