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- 5Upvotes of all answers in this question14 Answers5 days ago
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- 3Upvotes of all answers in this question
I have set curfews for my 17 year old to give him structure and make sure he shows responsibility, but I'm concerned that hes going to uni this September and I do not want him coming back at 3am or some silly time like that.
I've laid out curfew as follows- on a normal day where he has nothing, he needs to be home by 8-9pm. But if he's got to get up at 6am the next day, he must be back by 8:30pm at the latest.
If he's out alone such as shopping by himself, he must be back by 9:30pm.
When he's out with friends, he must be back by 10-11 which is a reasonable time in my opinion. Regardless of the reason, I don't care if he's eaten out, he must be back by 11.
In rare cases, I'll allow him back by 12 if there's an event taking place say at his school.
Is this reasonable? I don't mind him coming back at 9pm daily, but I don't want him going wild when he goes to university and start coming back at silly times such as midnight as that spells trouble. I must not we do not drink as a family, nor do we tolerate clubbing or drugs.5 Answers5 days ago
- 3Upvotes of all answers in this questionFavorite Answer:
Sounds pretty normal - and not exactly untrue. Your daughter has moved beyond discovering you lied to her about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and is now discovering some ugly truths about the world. She's grieving her childhood innocence and feeling really helpless in a big scary world.
Have you asked her if there are any of those issues that she'd like to work on? Maybe she'd like to volunteer at the local animal shelter or LGBTQ community center or the local food bank or a community garden? Maybe you could help facilitate her feeling more powerful in her world...let her find her sense of purpose and inspiration. What about sports or music or modern dance? What does she DO other than school? If nothing, I'd see if I could get her interested in something other than wallowing. (But be careful not to imply there is something wrong with the way she is!).
Kids who don't have a sense of control or purpose are the ones I worry about. Those are the ones I worry about cutting, eating disorders, promiscuity, vandalism, theft...anything to feel a sense of their own power.
No one here knows if your kid is ok or if she's going to jump off a bridge or shoot up a grocery store. Talk to her. Tell her you love her just as she is. Ask her if there is anything she needs. And of course seek professional help if you remain concerned.
It might be a good idea to have a little chat with a teacher or two that she likes and if you feel they will be discreet, perhaps the parent of her best friend. Just to touch base and have them let you know if they have concerns about her. We all wear different faces and others may know her differently than you do.6 Answers1 week ago
- 9Upvotes of all answers in this questionFavorite Answer:
Feeling a little defensive, aren't you? Assuming you didn't just make this up because you want people to reassure you that living at home is ok, the teenager clearly wasn't talking about years, but about maturity. Some people live with their parents for financial reasons, which is fine. But in some cases, it allows them to put off maturing. They don't take on financial responsibilities, aren't serious about building a career, and continue to act like teenagers. That doesn't happen just because they live at home, but living at home doesn't push them to grow up mentally.5 Answers2 weeks ago
- 22Upvotes of all answers in this questionFavorite Answer:
I think most of them are emotionally stunted and want a girlfriend who is easier to manipulate. They can't handle women their own ages, so they have to go for naive young girls who don't have enough life experience to realize that they're creeps.10 Answers2 weeks ago
- 3Upvotes of all answers in this questionFavorite Answer:
True. Very true.5 Answers2 weeks ago
- 5Upvotes of all answers in this questionFavorite Answer:
Because the human brain isn't fully mature until a person is in their mid-20s6 Answers3 weeks ago
- 20Upvotes of all answers in this question
Graduation will be on a Saturday, at 10am in the
morning. I am not a morning person and neither are most teens. We like to sleep in on the weekend. Plus, I have to wake up an hour early to get dressed and drive to the locale of course. Should I tell them to reschedule the time to maybe evening?10 Answers3 weeks ago
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I'm only 25 and if I sit on a hard chair for just an hour I'd get back pain all night.6 Answers3 weeks ago
- 1Upvotes of all answers in this question
If kids or teens are getting yelled at by guardians, is it really that normal for these kids and teens to get nervous in this situation?
When you answer, can you give me an explanation?6 Answers1 month ago
- 4Upvotes of all answers in this questionFavorite Answer:
Because you had Autism, that's why. And your disability (which the other kids and adults could sense, even if they didn't know what it was or why you were acting as you were) made you stand out and turned you into a target for bullying and abuse. I'm not surprised that you experienced HELL growing up and while you were in school. That's what happens to most people with Autism spectrum disorders. It happened to me, too- and I have mild Autism. It's dangerous to be "different" in American public education. Those who are, or who have had that label pinned on them, inevitably become targets for abuse and mistreatment, often with dire and sometimes, fatal consequences. Although most Autistic people aren't violent by nature, there is a STRONG association between abuse (such as the peer abuse you experienced) and violent events like school shootings and student suicides.
Middle school (which was called junior high when I was growing up in the 1970's and 1980's) has always been a horrible time for most American children. That's because schools and the people who run them seldom if ever make any effort to teach kids NOT to hate on or pick on each other. Instead, they cultivate an atmosphere in which even the most MINOR "differences" are heavily stigmatized. NO ONE ever learns well in a morally bankrupt environment like that, regardless of whether they are disabled or not.
There are simply too many people in American society who view Autism as a threat, and treat those who have it like they were dirt, just because they have a different mindset than those who don't. And that's sad, it really is.
PS: For Silverback: Autism was originally viewed as a type of childhood Schizophrenia, NOT as ADHD or OCD, as you believe. It wasn't until modern research methods, along with modern diagnostics, were developed in the late 20th century that the two conditions were finally identified as separate from each other. It's interesting that the gene or genes which are suspected of causing Autism and those which have been identified as the cause of Schizoaffective disorders are actually very close to each other in the human genome. When we finally understand the chemistry and structure of said genes a little better, there will be some big future advances in treatment and prevention of both Autism and Schizoaffective disorders. But that is a ways off yet.4 Answers1 month ago
- 20Upvotes of all answers in this questionFavorite Answer:
Of course!! A ten year old probably barely started puberty and a 17 year old is nearly an adult!11 Answers1 month ago
- 17Upvotes of all answers in this question14 Answers2 months ago
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Nanny slapped my 15-year old boy across the face for stealing and lying. She says she's happy to quit if I think she was wrong. Was she?Favorite Answer:
She was defending herself as much as anything. If you had accused the nanny of stealing, the teenager would not have admitted it. He would have let you fire her and give her a bad reference. He has learned an important lesson and you didn't have to hit him yourself. I doubt he'll try anything like that again and he won't believe that he can get away with dishonesty with her and, by extension, you. This really worked out for the best.26 Answers2 months ago
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Where I live 19 year olds are considered adults in every way. Move to Australia..15 Answers2 months ago
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Before lockdown my local mall closed by 7pm and at my local cinema films that start at 10pm are exclusively for adults (not adults movies but over 18s only admitted). They're too young to be allowed in bars or clubs. Where do they go? Just hang around the street in the cold weather?11 Answers2 months ago
- 1Upvotes of all answers in this question7 Answers2 months ago
- 6Upvotes of all answers in this questionFavorite Answer:
It may be easier to convince her when the weather is nice and you will be swimming. It is common for females to get a brazillian because it clears up all the right spots for wearing a swimsuit. Maybe try telling her you want the brazillian so that you can wear a swim suit and feel extra confident !11 Answers2 months ago