I've been a best man a dozen times and have been to two dozen weddings of every variation. Beyond asking the groom if he needs me to take care of anything on the day for him or pick any last-minute items, at no point have the details of their wedding night come up for discussion (I've never brought it up...
Best answer: I've been a best man a dozen times and have been to two dozen weddings of every variation. Beyond asking the groom if he needs me to take care of anything on the day for him or pick any last-minute items, at no point have the details of their wedding night come up for discussion (I've never brought it up because I've always assumed that this is between you and your spouse).
People that are attending your wedding don't care about your wedding night (and truth be told don't want to know about it). In no particular order, people would like an open bar, decent food, and a chance to offer congratulations to you and your spouse (they might wish you a happy honeymoon is a completely innocent way). As a career bachelor, I can't remember ever giving it a thought. The singles at your wedding/reception will be thinking about their own lot and if there's anyone at the reception worth having a drink (or more) with, and the married couples will either be thinking "how quickly can we leave so we don't have to pay extra for the babysitter" or hitting that open bar hard because they don't have kids and want to tear it up. Most of the women will be re-thinking their choices in shoes and foundation-wear (Spanx apparently aren't that comfortable). If I'm your best man I've written a toast/roast that will be equal parts funny, marginally humiliating to you, and finish with some nice words about you and your spouse. What you and your spouse do is unspoken; similar to if you see someone going to use the washroom (you know what they're doing but you don't spend time thinking about it).
If this person you're going to marry is really the right person, then what other people think won't matter. And if you still can't move beyond it, then it says here you lack the basic maturity to handle the complexities of love, marriage, and being someone's spouse.
Failing all of that, if you're that concerned about performance anxiety, go see your doctor and get a Viagra prescription and you should be good to go.
6 days ago