I am confused why he would need to give permission for dependent VA benefits in general. Because normally dependents VA benefits would only be able to be received if the veteran parent or spouse, who you are claiming to be a dependent of, is dead, missing in action (MIA), or is 100% totally disabled from a military...
I am confused why he would need to give permission for dependent VA benefits in general. Because normally dependents VA benefits would only be able to be received if the veteran parent or spouse, who you are claiming to be a dependent of, is dead, missing in action (MIA), or is 100% totally disabled from a military combat or active military duty injury.
If they are dead or MIA, obviously, it would be impossible to have the veteran's permission, since they would not be "around" to give it. The only instance where they could be eligible for VA dependency benefits, when the veteran would be alive and/or around, is if the veteran is 100% totally disabled from an injury sustained in the military, but of course, still alive.
So is that the case here? Because if not, perhaps it's not that he's not giving your kids "permission" to receive benefits, but just saying you can't request them, because they're not eligible, unless they lied on the VA forms, making a claim he is 100% disabled when he is not.
But if he is 100% disabled, and if the veteran is your ex, was there ever a child support order? Or how did the court treat that situation? Were you ever informed that you could try and apply for Dependent Indemnification Compensation (DIC) payments? If there would otherwise be child support obligations, but for your husband being totally disabled from a military injury, presumably the children would have been eligible for VA DIC payments in lieu of receiving child support, right? So were your kids receiving DIC payments?
Because if the children were entitled to DIC payments previously, I presume they would be eligible to also apply for VA dependency education assistance (DEA benefits), and I don't see how that program would be any different in that respect. (Also, FYI, I don't believe a dependent can receive both DIC and DEA education benefits at the same time, so just keep that in mind.)
Here's a link to application FAQ's on that:
In short, if they are eligible for the benefits, I don't see how it would be up to him. It's up to the VA. Your husband wouldn't be paying, the VA would, so the only permission you would need is from them.