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Sally

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  • Should I stay with my husband?

    Hi all.

    I have a dilemma. My husband is a good man and has few faults, however I have issues and I feel we are bad for each other.

    My parents divorced when I was 12. My dad had an affair with my mums sister when I was 6, I had to hear every little detail from a young age and as a result, I'm mistrusting and insecure. My dad is also autistic (my diagnosis) so I'll never have a good relationship with him.

    I met my husband at 17. We got married when I was 25. He's quiet, doesn't speak about his feelings ever (he was the driver in a car accident and his friend died, he's never spoken about it to anyone). He never tells me if I do something right or wrong and I'm constantly guessing. The only time o find out anything is when he loses his temper and shouts it at me. I then can't help but cry and he apologises.

    He's a poor listener. His friends and family are regularly horrible to me. He's says it's in my imagination until in the end, someone else notices too.

    I decided I wanted a baby. Discussed it with him and he said that he might not be ready but ragreed.

    He then wrote me a note 6 months later saying that he doesn't ever want kids but that I can leave him. He then wouldn't discuss it for four days and I cried all the time.

    I decided to leave but worried he'd commit suicide or something so I send a brief email to him parents saying that they'd needed to speak to him (vague). He then rang me saying that we needed to sort things out, that he is depressed and that is influencing his decisions. I then tried to talk to him with little success. He changes tge subject

    A few days after, I went to stay with my sister (pre planned holiday) had an amazing time and initially missed him but now I'm back and Id rather b away. I got back at 12am and he didn't even stay up tp see that I got in safe. He also barely text me when away (replied once for every two I sent)

    If he hasnt rung to GP re depression then I'll be mad as he isn't working on our problems.

    Any advice?

    5 AnswersMarriage & Divorce8 years ago