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im a young writer ., but i realise its not time for me to publish yet, please could you read or conside creating an account so you could read the extract of my story Billwood here is the link : http://www.inkpop.com/fiction/science-fiction-books/billwood

  • how does this sound to you?

    “Tarian Sheridan! What are you doing?"

    A riotous cascade of brown curls flew to face her sentinel. Her large green eyes bored up in a curious manner as she proceeded to bit her lip.

    “Sleeping sentinel,"

    That all too familiar tick began to grow in his jaw as he tapped his foot staring down at her with his ever prominent annoyed face. Her body was lying along a soft bright red sofa, she had not intended to fall asleep there. A bed would have been so much better, but...

    “Sleeping?" He said through gritted teeth “where’s that paper work I asked for?"

    Beaming brightly up at him she said, “all done and filled away,"

    “Uh huh??" He said testily.

    "Then what's that pile I see stuffed under the coffee table,"

    Kat turned a vivid red as she glanced to the corner of the room.

    Jumping she flew to the corner, scooped up the papers with a charming grin and said in a far too bright tone. " Imma just do that now shall I?"

    From the corner of her eyes she saw him shaking his head. “So lazy..."

    2 AnswersBooks & Authors7 years ago
  • how does this sound?

    “Smile,” urged Livanna, she moved to her tip toes and reached for his cheeks his perpetual scowl sill fixed on his face until she pulled his cheeks up. He still looked pissed however his eyebrows were still furrowed. With a sigh, august moved his strong arms around her wrists and o pulled her away, rollin his eyes, he said softly. “I do not always frown,” he growled down at her, still frowning. Liv snorted and pointed up at him. “Clearly not,”

    “Shut up,” he growled again. God he really did remind her of some fierily animal. Liv just waggled her eyebrows, advancing on her, he wrapped his hands around her shoulder the ever present frown on his face pulling her closer... he was so much taller than her five foot eleven,, forced to bend his head slightly he began to speak, until they heard something that sounded like a squeak, turning they both found Charlie peerig at them with a furious pink tinge to her delicate skin. August scowled at her. “What’s wrong?”

    Liv too took the immediate assumption something was wrong. “Yeah Charlie, what’s up?”

    Charlie opened her mouth in a similar fashion like a fish before words poured out of her lips. “Oh, um we’re ready… I mean- we are going on the celestials walk,” Liv’s perked up at that , forgetting august was still holding her shoulders, she began to pump the air until a pain shot through her right arm, yelling, they both moved away from each other. August who was clearly worried came to heal her sprained arm, until liv used the said maybe

    2 AnswersBooks & Authors7 years ago
  • is this an interesting weapon?

    its called control mangetsu ( full moon) they are given to specific type of species, it looks like a standard sword, but when activated channels and controls the amount of power released for a being, it changes form to suit an individual.

    for example

    if a power was poison generation, the sword with become a curved knife, pale green and once swung a pulse of energy - a green light strikes the victim and the effect takes place?

    Please tell me what you think this is an fantasy novel i am writing. Thank you.

    3 AnswersBooks & Authors7 years ago
  • should my characters use weapons to fight?

    Is this too-played out, because they also have supernatural powers . Yes this is a fantasy novel i am writing, they do have supernatural powers as well, but should they have weapons to channel their powers into?

    Thanks for answering.

    4 AnswersBooks & Authors7 years ago
  • Is this worth continuing?

    “I say we bring a hoard of ants, and pour them down his pants and watch him squirm," August stiffened as he approached the lunch table, half fighting the urge to laugh or choke.

    “Wow such hatred Kay, which unlucky numbskulls at the end of your fishing pole today?" Asked Talyn, a charmed laugh left his lips as he moved to push up one of the girls who was sharing the table with them.

    Kasey's dark glower turned on August. He jerked and positioned himself in a defensive pose.

    “Why are you looking at me?" He exclaimed sounding appalled.

    “Because you, and all your kind are the problem that's wiggling at the end of my fishing pole."

    “Jesus, couldn't be more specific could you," August said, as he shrugged off her anger and sat next to Talyn, plopping his tray onto the table.

    “Hey don't be sarcastic with me, Augustus Ryan, or I'll beat you black and blue," Kasey threatened him waving her plastic fork his way. August snorted.

    “I’d like to see you try woman. You don't scare me,"

    4 AnswersBooks & Authors7 years ago
  • Would you continue reading this?

    "A happy ending? Can someone tell me what a happy ending means to you?” Asked Miss Lawrence scanning her classroom. She had already ensnared three other students into talking, so August could not tell why she would still be interested. August however was not looking her way, his eyes were fixed outside the window, on the sky. Staring at a flash in the sky that did not seem consistent with the fluffy clouds that floated there.

    “Ah Mr Ryan. It seems since you’re not listening to me, or even paying an ounce of attention, what does a happy ending mean to you?"

    August lips twitched at her comment, he had in fact heard her of course , but hadn't been staring or gawping at her like eighty percent of the male population in the class. He turned from the sky, his eyes still squinted as if trying to find the impossible there, to his curvy, voluptuous teacher's chest. She was leaning in so close to him, her boobs pressed against his face.

    Yelling, he practically fell off his chair to scramble away from her. The whole class erupted into riotous laughter. August did not join in, instead a scowl grew on his face. She always did this, she was bloody insane. She loved terrorising the males in her classes with her boobs and her close proximity.

    Crazy woman.

    With a pout on her pretty face, she seated herself on his vacated desk, and swung her legs.

    “So your idea of a happy ending? Mr Ryan?"

    August sputtered, how the hell he was meant to think? His mind was scattered and jumbled, thanks to her invasive attack.

    It's aimed at teenagers . It was draft, so i will fix the grammatical mistakes.

    7 AnswersBooks & Authors7 years ago
  • should I continue with this?

    Slowly opening his eyes, Kit felt his eyes being assaulted by foreign faces staring at him. Kit blinked several times before realising he was lying on what looked like a physician's table. Beginning to open his mouth to utter something, a warm hand rested on his shoulder. First looking at the shoulder and slowly at the owner of the shoulder, he froze.

    A woman stared into his eyes, her eyes were a bright silver almost like two stars, they were so off putting and strange ,it took some time for Kit to comprehend what was going on.

    4 AnswersBooks & Authors7 years ago
  • Waitrose Dilemma please help me?

    Should l call Waitrose back. I had my interview with the section manager for customer service, a week ago, this is the 27th of April . I'm wondering if I have missed the job offer?Since now it's like the 6th of May.

    1 AnswerOther - Careers & Employment8 years ago
  • how does this sound to you?

    “Want an apple?” asked Kat lazily waving the blood red death trap in her face. Not only was it shinny and almost tempting , it was just far too fresh for Prue to stomach. Her imagination went running on it's own horse race and all she could think of, was the apple the evil queen had given to Snow White . “God no, they're disgusting;" she said shaking her head franticly.

    Kat's single dark eyebrow rose.

    “Gees what did the apple ever do to you, trip you up in the hallway?"

    Prue shot a peeved look her way.

    "Sorry, there not my thing. If you remember it was a bloody apple that started the damn Trojan War, and we all know how that ended for my lot ," she said in a drool manner. Kat winced and Prue patted her shoulder sympathetically. She knew Kat hadn't tried to hurt her. But apples had no love in her heart . Prue, then turned back to the waiter, who was waiting for her to order. Prue smiled and answered automatically. "One coke float for me and a root beer float for my rocking friend,” from the corner of her eye she saw Kat flush a furious red. Prue shook her head; she had no idea why she was blushing. Here they were sitting at Miami Beach wearing bikini's that left them with a good chance of an even tan , and now Kat was concerned with a comment , it had been Kat after all who'd incited they wear the stupid bikini's.

    2 AnswersBooks & Authors8 years ago
  • How long does it take for Waitrose to call back after group interview?

    I had an group interview the 10th of april, and i know i might appear to be pushy but its the 22nd of april now. They said they'd email us by the 20th of april by the latest, and i have received nothing. However two people i know who had a interview a week before me, got a reply back for a 1:1 interview. But I am still waiting what should I do?

    1 AnswerOther - Careers & Employment8 years ago
  • How does this story sound to you?

    Vengeance, the most deadliest emotion that free will ever gave to humanity. It can cause a single act of regret or greatness. And who would know better than those who have been screwed by it countless of times and a perfect example would be the Greek goddess of the hunt.

    Artemis was crouched on the balls of her feet, almost like a dog on point. She allowed a sly to curl on her delicate face. Impatiently, Artemis pushed one dark red curl from her face. She needed no distractions, not when it came to him. Another slow loving smile flickered on her face. She was still surprised even now the amount of joy he gave her, never in her life had she imagined to ever tolerate a man, especially a man who towered her tall six foot two frame when she allowed herself to stand as a woman. She listened to the woods, known to him, the woods was her element, the hunt was her strength, and when she heard a stick break, she had already darted towards it.

    A gleeful laugh left her throat to echo ominously in the woods as she ran; she hoped he had made a mistake.

    3 AnswersBooks & Authors8 years ago
  • Is this a good book title?

    Would this be a good book for teenagers?

    According to the Stars.

    4 AnswersBooks & Authors8 years ago
  • Is twenty-eight chapters to long for a first YA novel?

    I won't tell you the idea, because it is very secret and I don't want anyone to still it.

    Anyway I am writing my novel in third person alternative perspective, seven, this is because the main characters are seven teenagers.

    I thought i'd give them each four chapters each to narrate, or do you think that's to much, I don't want the story to get boring or long?

    4 AnswersBooks & Authors8 years ago
  • would you continue reading this?

    The boy lugging the two heavy suitcases, wanted to collapse. Though he doubted that was going to happen. He had in his mum’s words, “Five minutes to hurl his bum up those stairs and deliver those suitcases in the right rooms,” in record time, of course. Jesse Sullivan had, had to bite back the retort of, “I am not superman!” which would have gotten him a cold glare from his mum.

    While dragging the two suitcases, he continued like always to look around the lavishly decorated hotel corridors. Brightly lit by the brilliant sun outside, it bathed the corridor in gold, making it looked touched by the mythical king Midas. No lights were on for this reason, and Jesse knew it was warm outside, as he had picked up the two suitcases from the owner’s car.

    Then something caught his eye, but, what was it? No, that was impossible... But...? Jesse couldn’t ever be sure if he was imagining it, but he swore he saw a sphinx. It was the body of a lion, and the head of a pharaoh , he shook his head a few times, trying and failing to convince himself he was only imagining it. His mother constantly told him, he had an active imagination; she was very fond of telling him that.

    This time despite all the times his Mother and older sister tried to discourage him; he was almost sure he had at least seen something funny.

    7 AnswersBooks & Authors8 years ago
  • How does my beginning sound? Thank you?

    This is a YA/children's novel.

    Chapter One

    Jesse

    The boy lugging the two heavy suitcases, wanted to collapse. Through he doubted that was going to happen. He had in his mum’s words, “Five minutes to hurl his bum up those stairs and deliver those suitcases in the right rooms,” in record time, of course. Jesse Sullivan had, had to bite back the retort of, “I am not superman!” which would have gotten him a cold glare from his mum.

    While dragging the two suitcases, he continued like he did always to look around the lavishly decorated hotel corridor. Brightly lit by the brilliant sun outside, it bathed the corridor in gold, making it touched by the mythical king Midas. No lights were on for this reason, and Jesse knew it was warm outside, as he had gotten the two suitcases from the owner’s car.

    Then something caught his eye, Jesse couldn’t ever be sure if he was imagining it, but he swore he saw a sphinx. Yes a sphinx, the body of a lion, and the head of a pharaoh , he shook his head a few times, trying and failing to convince himself he was only imagining it. His mother constantly told him, he had an active imagination; she was very fond of telling him that.

    But this time despite all the times his mother and older sister tried to discourage him; he was almost sure he had at least seen something funny.

    Abandoning the suitcases, he began sprinting down the wide spaced corridor.

    The pictures that hung on the wall flashed by him like a blur, Jesse guessed the sphinx- it still sounded amazing when he thought about it- had turned right at the end of the corridor.

    ©

    2 AnswersBooks & Authors9 years ago
  • Is this a good start to my novel?

    The boy lugging the two heavy suitcases, wanted to collapse. Through he doubted that was going to happen. He had in his mum’s words, “Five minutes to hurl his bum up those stair and delver those suitcases in the right rooms,” in record time, of course. Jesse Sullivan had, had to bite back the retort of, “I am not superman!” which would have gotten him a cold glare from his mum.

    While dragging the two suitcases, he continued like he did always to look around the lavishly decorated hotel corridor. Brightly lit by the brilliant sun outside, it bathed the corridor in gold, making it touched by the mythical king Midas. No lights were it for this reason, and Jesse knew it was warm outside, as he had gotten the two suitcases from the owner’s car.

    Then something caught his eye, Jesse couldn’t ever be sure if he was imagining it, but he swore he saw a sphinx. Yes a sphinx, the body of a lion, and the head of a pharaoh ,had he shook his head a few times, trying and failing to convince himself he was only imagining it. His mother constantly told him, he had an active imagination; she was very fond of telling him that.

    But this time despite all the times his mother ad older sister tried to discourage him; he was almost sure he had at least seen something funny.

    This is YA/Children's Genre. I haven't edited yet, and i shall do that once I see if should write on.

    2 AnswersBooks & Authors9 years ago
  • How does this sound? Thank you?

    Chapter four

    Billie

    Crusade

    "So miss will that be First Class or Economy?"

    Billie rolled her eyes.

    "Look super genius, I've already been with Mr Bunny funny over there and then Miss Congeniality. I'm not saying your the only one to be mesmerised by my magical appearance. but would it kill any of you to actually listen to me," Billie moaned. She didn't mean to sound rude or anything. But it irked her, when people were more interested or more to say startled at her appearance; then listen to her. So it wasn't a surprise she'd snapped.

    "Economy. Is that okay? I've been here for a sticken hour, and I just want to go..." said Billie trailing off, rubbing her forehead.

    Suddenly a pain , so sharp so painful, as if acid had been poured on her wrist caused her to squeak. She wasn't unfamiliar to the pain, she had forced herself to endure the pain numerous times before. but she still jerked away from the desk, swearing under her breathe. Her eyes began to raked the crowd, with a hungry . She'd experienced the pain once before and when she'd looked for the source of it , it had been a person.

    The crowd was densely packed with worried holiday goers; excited children, and a boy who was tapping his foot impatiently. It was him that caused it.” Stupid Progeny,” She almost felt like saying under her breathe. She wasn't a bit surprised the pain had ceased. She saw it.

    Even from this distance she saw the black almost tattoo like birthmark.

    3 AnswersBooks & Authors9 years ago
  • Which perspective should I write in,Thanks?

    A)Third person

    B) Third with different perspectives.

    C) first person

    Here is my idea:

    They are called Progeny, descendants of important people from history, no matter if there progenitor are good or bad. They have made an impression on the world, and they're given two given two gifts; the important progenitor who have made an impression are given the choice of immortality, or they can be trainers.

    Then the progenitor descendants are given powers that suit their personality.

    The children called in groups and are found all across the world, they are put into groups of seven, they receive a mark like a birthmark on their neck, calling for them to go to the house of confinement aka (Billwood) a building made of crystals that has evolved to make a safe hold for progeny, as the progenitors have gone to the sky to live out their lives.

    They are usually summoned around the summer holidays, to go on holidays to find out who their progenitor are! it is a growing up story.

    The children are split up into groups and are trained by progenitor, while they are on their holidays they go looking for their individual progeny.

    There are going to be seven Progeny who go on seven adventures.

    There are seven protagonists.

    6 AnswersBooks & Authors9 years ago
  • Does Idea sound Original?

    They are called Progeny, descendants of important people from history, no matter if their progenitor are good or bad. They have made an impression on the world, and they're given two given two gifts; the important progenitor who have made an impression are given the choice of immortality, or they can be trainers.

    Then the progenitor descendants are given powers that suit their personality.

    The children called in groups and are found all across the world, they are put into groups of seven, they receive a mark like a birthmark on their neck, calling for them to go to the house of confinement aka (Billwood) a building made of crystals that has evolved to make a safe hold for progeny, as the progenitors have gone to the sky to live out their lives.

    They are usually summoned around the summer holidays, to go on holidays to find out who their progenitor are! it is a growing up story.

    The children are split up into groups and are trained by progenitor, while they are on their holidays they go looking for their individual progeny.

    5 AnswersBooks & Authors9 years ago
  • Do you think this would interest a Publisher?

    Chapter one

    Calling

    My feet are moving.

    Why are my feet moving?

    That was the constant thought that thumped in his head.

    His body was on auto-pilot, under lock and key. Jesse felt several slaps across the face and he was ready to shout, “Back off,” until he realised he couldn’t open his mouth. He tripped over a tree root, and deduced the branches where responsible for the slaps across his face. His body got up, just like a robot’s, moving on even though his feet were covered in blisters and ached with pain. But he could not stop. He crunched up his face. He had to fight it.

    While he sleep walked his eyes were open; he felt more like a passenger in his own body: not able to move, but only to see. Rabbits and deer scurried out of his way. Although he couldn’t speak out loud, he could think. The general questions like why am I doing this? Didn’t dare enter his thoughts, he had been through this before, and he wasn’t surprised.

    No image filled his eyes, or dreams came, but just the vast woods in front of him.

    The sky above him was inky blue with stars scattered across like a Van Gogh painting. The trees were as tall as giants. He imagined the trees would growl and grunt down at him. The only lights that were visible to Jesse were the sparkling stars that winked down at him. The weather was mildly cold, shivers run down his back, and his teeth began to chatter slightly.

    That’s when the pain came, the relentless, agonising pain that felt like being hit by a sledgehammer. He’s eyes grew wide, and almost popped out of their sockets, the veins in his neck strained against his pale skin. Tears began welling up in his eyes, he thought the urge to push them away but he didn’t scream; the pain was familiar. Every month since he’d turned twelve, it had started. It was like someone was furiously scratching a symbol on his neck as if Jesse had offended them. He knew it would later cool down into a birthmark. He couldn’t help it, he clutched his neck, he felt the contrast of his hand which was cool and chilling, and his neck, which was like a sizzling barbecue.

    5 AnswersBooks & Authors9 years ago